Highly efficient individuals possess a set of skills and habits which enables them to be productive, organized and proactive in managing their time and responsibilities. Then there are those of us who may struggle more with time management and prioritization. It takes a lot of strategizing and planning to coordinate everything that needs to be done personally, for one’s family, and for one’s community in order to get through the Yom Tov season and there is therefore not a lot of “space” to plan for the post Yom Tov season until it is indeed post Yom Tov.
The following phrases may sound familiar to you: “Let’s get together after Yom Tov.” “I’ll finish that project after the chagim.” I am going to do (insert task here) next week, after Sukkot.” For the past few years, I have sent a post-holiday “helpful hints” email to my clients within a day or two of Simchat Torah to help those of us who wait until after the holiday season to make healthy changes in our lifestyle. Yom Tov living is generally not conducive to healthy living, so in the past, this email was a guide to encourage a return or a new start to healthy eating, moving, hydrating and sleeping.
This year, for obvious and sad reasons, I did not send out the email after Yom Tov. On my way to shul on Shemini Atzeret morning, I passed a friend and his son. He asked me if I had heard what was going on in Israel, and at that time I had not heard anything. He then filled me in on the little information that he had at the moment. Over the course of that day and the next, I heard some more details, but the picture remained vague and incomplete, and it was not until after Yom Tov, when I turned on my phone, that I read and saw what had happened in Israel. It suddenly seemed trivial to send out an email to my clients, friends and family about healthy living, when so many people in Israel were suffering so terribly. Instead, I ate some ice cream (my personal drug of choice) and spent virtually the entire night reading articles and news reports, most from Israel, but some from the UK and of course, the U.S.
At some point, around 1 a.m., I “fell down the rabbit hole” on Facebook. I could not stop scrolling and looking at pictures of entire families that had been murdered, of young adults who had gone to an outdoor concert with friends and were now dead or missing, of people who saw family members being taken into captivity. I read about grandparents who had been killed and an older woman who was kidnapped. And various other tragedies.
At about 3 a.m., I called my sister-in-law in Israel. She and her husband have one son presently in the army and two sons who have now been called up for service. My sister-in-law told me that she is unable to do anything, as she waits all day to hear a “ping” on her phone with a message which lets her know that her son is okay, and then waits another 12 hours for the next ping. I cannot imagine what life is now like for my sister-in-law and her husband and for so many other parents and families in Israel.
It thus seemed insignificant to convey the importance of healthy living to my clients here while we sit in the relative comfort of our homes in the United States. We are not hearing sirens; we don’t have to go into bomb shelters; there are no shortages of food; our spouses, fathers, sons and daughters are not missing; they are not being sent on missions that could end badly. It is a luxury to worry about healthy movement, eating, hydrating and getting enough sleep, and I therefore did not send out my usual email.
I woke up this morning after getting only a few interrupted hours of sleep with a heavy feeling in my heart and body. I realized that spending my time reading countless news reports, not sleeping and eating junk food is not going to help anyone. I felt that in a way I was indulging myself and not doing any good for myself or anyone else.
What is it, then, that we can do to help ourselves stay strong both emotionally and physically and at the same time identify with our brethren in Israel? I don’t claim to have all the answers, and various communal leaders and organizations have offered us appropriate guidance, but I do think that we need to take care of ourselves physically in order to better deal with our feelings of tension and anxiety. We can do that by eating healthy food, going for a walk, getting enough sleep, and drinking six to eight glasses of fluid daily. Take a yoga, exercise, and/or meditation class to cope with stressful thoughts and seek out help and support from friends, therapists, and religious leadership.
Stick to a schedule. Don’t waste hours reading reports or Facebook posts. We are a community of people who believe in God and we believe in the power of prayer and learning Torah. So, if you can, designate some time each day to daven for the safety and security of all those in Israel, and for the wisdom of the country’s leadership. Give tzedakah generously and be kind and thoughtful to others as a counter to the cruel and hateful treatment that the people in Israel have been subjected to. Show up to rallies and gatherings in support of Israel. Write letters to people in government letting them know how we feel. Call your friends and family both here and in Israel to show them that you love them and that you care. Figure out what special talents or abilities that you may have which can be helpful to others.
But you can do all this only if you stay strong yourself. Spending a few valuable moments during this trying time taking care of yourself will allow you to better take care of others. Our people need all of us; we all need to be in good shape to do all the work that now must be done.
Beth S. (Bassie) Taubes, RN, CHC, CYT, is the owner of Wellness Motivations LLC in Teaneck, where she motivates clients of all backgrounds, age, and health conditions to engage in improved self-care through nutritional counseling, personal fitness training, yoga practice, tai chi, and stress reduction techniques. She is also the rebbetzin of Congregation Zichron Mordechai in Teaneck. She can be reached at [email protected]. Visit her website at wellnessmotivationsbt.com.
