Asara B’Teves on a Friday.
You may have heard that the Chasam Sofer and Avudraham explain that Asara B’Teves takes place on the day it falls out— even on a Shabbos— no nidcheh or pushing it off, because it is a day of judgement for the Geula. I heard this reason suggested by Rabbi J.J. Schacter one Tisha B’Av during his all-day explanation of Kinnos at Keter Torah many years ago, and it has stayed with me ever since.
As we approach Asara B’Teves, I am struck by the overwhelming abundance of Ahavas Yisroel. But then people counter that there is still so much division.
Frankly, I don’t see it. I believe there is so much achdus, and anything else is just noise and distraction. Yet, some may counter that I am suffering from selective attention.
So let’s try an alternate perspective.
There is a tremendous amount of connectivity among the Jewish people— that cannot be argued. Our hearts tug for each other. This connectivity ranges from concerned thoughts, caring actions, davening, solidarity, vocal counterprotest, volunteerism, financial support, and service at every level, including the ultimate service. What we are experiencing is an emotional love. We emotionally feel connected to each other—we are lev echad (one heart). Yet, when faced with the realities of complicated differences, that emotional love struggles. The division stands as a blockade that is difficult to navigate through.
What if we are still learning how to become an ish echad— an individual that is composed of multiple components with differing roles, yet instead of those differences being problematic, they are viewed as complementary, creating something that is much more than the sum of its parts. That love would be an enlightened love. We have individual mindsets, approaches, strengths, and priorities that when weaved together creates something infinitely more beautiful than we are capable of on our own. This enlightened love fosters the actualization of what we can be as a nation and the ultimate goal, iy”H, one day soon.
Now between emotional love and enlightened love, perhaps the idea of unencumbered love can gain traction. Unencumbered love can be likened to the highest version of grandparental love. Grandparents can enjoy their grandchildren and love them without feeling the weight and full responsibility of raising them. Of course, they worry and care about their grandchildren, but essentially, grandparents have the liberty to just love, spoil and indulge them. It’s a liberating kind of love. Sometimes as a parent, in moments of complete trust in Hashem, this feeling can be felt too: Loving your child. No worry, no judgement, no fear, no disappointment. Just love. Completely unencumbered.
Feelings that human beings have for one another can be weighed down by so many things. Concern, insecurity, judgement, pride, fear, and more. Encumbered. Yet, there is an option to unload the unnecessary emotional baggage and hold onto the feelings that matter. To admire each other and notice commonality of purpose and direction irrespective of our differing journeys and perspectives.
We have many metaphors to draw upon. My favorite is Oleh la’Regel— Jews coming to Yerushalayim three times a year during the times of the Beis Hamikdash. Where they came from didn’t matter. The route they took didn’t matter. The length of their journey didn’t matter. What mattered was that they were all joining together to serve Hashem.
May the emotional love we have continue to grow.
May our feelings for each other be ever more unencumbered by judgement or difference.
May we achieve an enlightened love as we join k’ish echad, b’lev echad (as one person with one heart), with the arrival of the Geula speedily in our days.