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November 21, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Mordechai Schmutter

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published seven books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at [email protected].

Articles by Mordechai Schmutter

Cleaning Man

The cleaning lady came in today. We don’t actually have a cleaning lady, so it’s a little weird. Okay, it’s not so weird. We’re making

Folding Money

What would you do if you had $18,000 to burn? We should all have such problems. In case you were wondering, yes, that was me

Sofa, It’s Not Working Out

Dear Mordechai, My boys killed my couches. What should I do? Should I replace them? Yes, definitely. Maybe replace them with girls. They don’t ruin

Ad D’lo Yada

Welcome back to “How Should I Know?”—the column where I get to answer increasingly stranger questions because I never really set any guidelines as to

Bar Mitzvah Planning

As someone who’s making a bar mitzvah for the first time, people keep asking me, “Are you excited to be making a bar mitzvah?” Excited?

Everything Was Delicious

It’s fun to go out for Shabbos meals, because it allows you to sit and talk over food, which, as you’ve learned on shidduch dates,

A Strapping Young Man

My oldest son put on Tefillin for the first time today. And no, this isn’t a kiruv article. He’s becoming bar mitzvah! And no, you’re

Behaving Like Animals

I write about dumb criminals from time to time—enough that the average reader would assume that all dumb criminals are human. This isn’t necessarily true.

The Science of Parenting

School science fairs will always be a staple of our educational system, because research shows that about 78 percent of scientific discoveries are made by

For Adults Only

Disclaimer: I know that kids sometimes read my columns, and I love that they do, but this week’s column is for adults only. If you’re

Hungry Hungry Hippo

I’m in middle of a diet. I’m always in middle of a diet. And as is the tradition when someone is in middle of a