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September 19, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Mordechai Schmutter

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published seven books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at [email protected].

Articles by Mordechai Schmutter

The Job Market Is a Zoo

We have all this technology nowadays, and we wonder, “What did they used to do before this stuff was invented?” They used animals. You wanted

Chanukah Gelt

We’re lucky to be living in an age when we have products that can do things that our grandparents never even dreamed of, probably because

Skeletons in the Closet

One morning last week, my wife and I woke up to find that our closet bar had collapsed. Frankly, I’m surprised it held on as

A Throaty Laugh

I have a <kchugh-kchugh> sore throat. Yeah, I know. A lot of people, when they say they have a sore throat, feel the need to

Watching Your Step

Being a scientist isn’t easy. Scientists toil away night and day with no reward, except for award ceremonies. But not every scientist can win the

You Don’t Know Squanto

Some woman came over to my mother at a bank once, and asked, “Do Jews celebrate Thanksgiving?” My mother said, “Some do; some don’t. We

Hot Sauce Coming Through

Every year when I go to Kosherfest, I gain an appreciation for the diversity and the ingenuity of the Jewish people. And about 10 pounds.

Have a Piece of Fruit

I think we finally got rid of our fruit flies, now that the weather is getting colder and they were going to die out anyway.

Votey McVoteface

Over the past few months, I’ve gotten a lot of requests from readers to write about the upcoming historic election for what will probably be

Quickest Diet Ever

One of the big things about having a month with 85 days of Yom Tov is that after all those weeks shopping and cooking and

I’m in the Parsha

We made it to Simchat Torah! I especially am excited, because for the first time ever I learned the entire Torah—Chumash and Rashi. (And Stone!)

Davening for Kavana

It’s Rosh Hashanah, and we have a lot to daven for this year. Me, I’m davening for more kavana. It seems like a worthwhile investment.