March 26, 2025

Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Mordechai Schmutter

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published seven books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at [email protected].

Articles by Mordechai Schmutter

The Emperor’s New Throne

“Throne Together, how can I help you?” “Yeah, hi. I ordered a chair a while back, and it hasn’t come yet… This is the king.”

Pockets of Food

The following article is about the foods we eat on Purim. In the article, I give reasons for some of the foods we eat, and

Close Quarters

We’re in the market for a new house. It doesn’t actually have to be new, just new to us. Our current house isn’t tiny, but

You Scratch My Back

Chanukah is here, and it’s about time you gave some serious thought to buying gifts for people, because even if you personally don’t believe in

Shared Space

One of the most important things about flying, besides getting to your destination and maybe having your luggage get there as well–preferably on the same

Recycled Material

My first-grader, Heshy, just had something called a “Recycling Fair” in school. A few weeks ago, he came home with a note saying that his

Eating It Too

Today we bring you some exciting new studies in the field of losing weight. Losing weight is a subject that weighs heavily (ouch) on the

Saying Over

A while back, I wrote a couple of columns on annoying expressions that people use all the time. For example, you can be speaking to

There’s No Winning

I would have to say that Chinese auctions are, hands-down, the best type of auction. Unless you count those car auctions that people are always

Hold the Phone

I don’t think most of my younger siblings have home phones. Sure, most of them are still in the apartment phase. But for instance, I

Basket Case

Recently, our shul organized a game of shul basketball—although “organized” is a very strong word. (“Shul basketball” is like real basketball, except that the players

Like Pulling Teeth

This week’s column is about dentists. Nothing to do with the fact that, in the last week, you ate about 500 bags of candy. Maybe