May 22, 2024
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May 22, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Be Sensitive Toward Singles

I always enjoy The Jewish Link’s fresh perspective on so many topics. This past week was no exception. As someone who is heavily involved in helping set up singles, I wanted to bring attention to the two articles you published this past week.

Ahuva Lamm’s article, “A Closer Look at 30+ Dating in the Orthodox World,” was spot on in so many ways. I was so happy to see someone speak out about the experiences of older singles. I do take issue with her referring to women in their 30s as girls. There is a tendency within the Orthodox community to refer to a 22-year-old married woman as a woman but refer to a 35-year-old single as a girl. This perpetuates the idea that singles are somehow less than. In many communities, singles report feeling that they are not taken seriously without a sheitel or tallit. Wording does matter. Perhaps this can be the policy of this paper going forward.

Dr. Maybruch’s article was about embarrassing dating stories. While I understand that she wrote this in Purim jest, this is again an area where singles often feel unfairly treated. Singles’ bad dating experiences are not for the community’s entertainment. If they want to share funny anecdotes, they will. However, I cannot stress how insensitive it is to the single when a married friend asks, “Any good dating stories for me?” Yes, that is a common question posed to singles.

Thank you for continuing to use your platform to bring light to important topics including the issue of older singles. We just need to make sure that we don’t cause further hurt when we do so.

Tamar Burack
Teaneck
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