It has been 20 years since Alisa Flatow, a Brandeis University junior studying in Israel, headed to the beach with some friends. Her journey was cut short as she became a victim of an Islamic Jihad suicide bombing, known as the Kfar Darom bus attack.
A graduate of the Frisch School and a resident of West Orange, New Jersey, Alisa became the face of victims of terror. Since the moment she died, her family, led by its patriarch, Stephen Flatow, has made certain that her murder was not in vain. It began when he made the decision to have her organs donated so that others could live and it has not stopped. It continued with Mr. Flatow’s insistence on suing the government that supported and financed terrorism, but that was just a piece of it.
Alisa had brought religion into her family’s life, and so, with the help of her family, Alisa’s name has become synonymous with Jewish education, something that she was so very passionate about. In 2000, Bat Torah, an all-girls yeshiva high school in Suffern, NY, was rededicated as Bat Torah-The Alisa M. Flatow Yeshiva High School. The number of girls who were educated in her name was a testament to Alisa and her family. Unfortunately, due to changing demographics, the school closed in 2011.
Alisa’s sister Francince Mermelstein and her husband Adam recently donated the Alisa Flatow Wing of the Rosenbaum Yeshiva of North Jersey. This wing is mainly for the 7th and 8th grade girls so they will be able to learn from and live by the examples that she set. The family continues to call upon her memory to perpetuate the importance and continuance of girls’ Torah leaning.
Yael Weill gives a shiur every week at Congregation Keter Torah in Alisa’s memory. There is also the Alisa Flatow Scholarship established for students who will be spending their year in Israel. Keter Torah’s rav, Rabbi Shalom Baum, spoke of how when he meets with the students who ask him for recommendations, he tells them that even if they don’t receive the scholarship, they will learn about a young woman who was a leader, but was in the right place at the wrong time. He said, “so many women have learned not only about her death, but about her amazing life.”
Alisa was learning at a program at Nishmat which was later renamed by her family as the Alisa Flatow International program. The dormitory is also named in her memory. According to Genene Kaye, Nishmat’s director of institutional advancement for American Friends of Nishmat, “through these meaningful dedications, Alisa’s passion for studying Torah burns bright and continues with each student that passes through.”
This year marks the 25th anniversary of Nishmat’s founding and its annual dinner will be held on Sunday, May 17 at the New York Academy of Medicine. The Flatow family will be honored and Rachelle Sprecher Frankel, the mother of 16 year old terror victim Naftali Frankel, will be delivering a shiur prior to the dinner. Rabbanit Chana Henkin, Dean and founder of Nishmat, has delivered several shiurim in the Teaneck area in Alisa’s memory and speaks fondly of her recollections of times spent learning Torah with Alisa.
In honor of the 20th yarzheit of Alisa’s passing, The Flatow family sponsored a shiur at Keter Torah given my Rabbi Baum. The topic was “Hagaddah: Thoughts of Inner Happiness.” Michal Mermelstein, Alisa’s 12 year old niece, spoke about how we all have three names. The one given to us by our parents, the one given to us by our friends and the one that we earn for ourselves; “My aunt built a wonderful name for herself and I hope to follow in her footsteps.”
Stephen Flatow, Alisa’s father, followed his granddaughter by saying that 20 years in history is a speck on a timeline, but in terms of your own family, “it is a very long time.”
Rabbi Baum’s shiur emphasized the importance of who you want at your table. “You don’t want to hang out with cynics. You want to hang out with a family that is able to see hope in this world after suffering such a tragedy.” That is who the Flatow, Reider, Mermelstein and Berkowitz families are. A family that took the worst part of their life and turned it into a Kiddush Hashem, a sanctification of God’s name.
For more information about Nishmat or the dinner, please contact Genene Kaye at 201-525-5100 or [email protected]
By Banji Ganchrow
