When I heard the news on Motzei Shabbat, I felt as though my breath was taken away. They, our sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, were still alive after all this time, so close to being found alive, and the animals went in and slaughtered them, days, hours maybe, before they might have been saved. Hashem, you’ve got me. I try so hard to daven each day and believe in your ways. I have had hard times when I challenged your wisdom and convinced myself that the only way to get through life was to have total emunah and bitachon. Over and over I have told myself, “No, Nina, you are not meant to understand the ways of Hashem.” This, however, was just so painful.
It is inexplicable, no matter how hard anyone tries.
On Sunday during the levaya I watched Hersh’s parents and his sisters. Hersh was more fortunate than most because he had parents who were able to loudly and eloquently plead their case throughout the world. They knew the right strings to pull and how, specifically because of their American citizenship, to plead their case everywhere. However, never once did I believe they were advocating on behalf of Hersh alone. They were there representing every family who had innocently been thrust into the role of a hostage’s family. These were all plain, simple people living each day of their lives as we all do. Never in a million years did they ever dream they would be in a situation where the eyes of the world were turning to them constantly. Since they have no choice, they will continue to suffer through each day playing this unimaginable waiting game.
All of us must continue to keep them in our hearts and minds because they have not had the ability to be as vocal as Hersh’s parents. We must daven for their husbands, wives, brothers and sisters consistently as we have been and are, and must continue to beg Hashem for a miracle to occur, at least for the hostages who are still being held in captivity.
For most of Sunday I felt guilty partaking in my everyday activities. Here I was, taking my grandchildren to the Van Saun Park Zoo; here I was, serving bagels and breakfast to my wonderful family, and how could I be doing this? Should I not be sitting alone in a room and trying to make sense of the tragedy of the past day? A large part of our “family” had died the day before. Obviously I went on with my daily plans and today I realized that the Goldberg-Polin family will be doing the same after the week of shiva. Is that not what Rabbi Leo Dee said time and time again after he lectured? We cannot forget but we cannot give in.
I find myself attacking these totally incomprehensible acts by doing more chesed. The other option of raging inside without allowing my life to go on is not healthy and is not what I think is expected of us.
Yesterday while walking in the Van Saun Zoo,which, by the way, was a mob scene, I observed many families taking cute pictures of their children with one parent always unable to be in the photo as they were the delegated photographer. Several times I stopped and told them that I would be thrilled to photograph all of them together and each time they were more than grateful. My grandchildren, married with their own children, were shocked at my behavior. How, they asked, could I do that for people I do not know? I explained that it was so easy. It took 10 seconds out of my day to feel good to help someone and to make myself feel satisfied that I had done a mitzvah in my own way.
We are all offered these opportunities but many of us do not even consider the easy chesed opportunity and the Kiddush Hashem we are displaying.
As we count the days until Rosh Hashanah, wouldn’t it be great if we could all do one extra mitzvah each day—give someone your shopping cart at the fruit store parking lot without expecting a quarter back in return; take in your neighbor’s garbage can; say good morning or evening to a person who you haven’t spoken to in awhile, and especially, we should not need a reminder to tell your spouse how much you love them before jumping into bed!
Do these little things with the intention that each one will bring each hostage one step closer to being released unharmed and with the idea that our good intentions are meant to send waves of love and caring to the families of those who are or have gone through the trauma of finding out about the loss of their loved one.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected]
