I wanted to write, didn’t want to write, didn’t know how to write because my emotions are so raw and too painful to share. We have both not been well. Yet for whatever reason we are amongst the fortunate. We did not end up in the hospital. We have been able to stay at home only through the will of God and the outstanding care of our doctors, children and various aides. I cannot read the newspaper or turn on the radio. There is sadness everywhere. So many amazing, kind, caring, wonderful considerate people have passed away from this terrible plague. For what reason and why we will never know. Obviously this is far beyond anything that we could have imagined. As well, we all know those who have left the hospital on their road to recovery after spending varying amounts of time in isolation and hooked up to various machines. Hodu l’Hashem ki tov. But I still have to ask myself why.
What is the message here? What are we being told? I am as lost as everyone else in trying to make sense of what has become a totally upside down world.
Pesach is on its way with no semblance of order. Young recently married couples making Pesach for the first time by themselves, families alone, elderly sitting in solitary confinement in their apartments and those on the front lines will be working night and day to fight to save lives whether it is a chag or not.
We all are being told that this will come to an end at some point. None of us have a clue of when that will be and who will become sick and die between now and then, I can’t imagine that it will not take a very long time to get life back to any type of normal. Will it ever be normal again? I am actually too frightened to think about it. Each day at the moment seems like such a challenge.
Will we walk on the street and stop to talk with friends without worrying about the distance between us? Will we go into stores and not hesitate to take a shopping cart without making sure that it has been sanitized? Will we finally be able to hug and kiss our loved ones without a feeling of angst? Will we party and celebrate?
Most importantly will we remember to take nothing for granted for the rest of our lives? Will we hold fewer grudges and overlook total nonsense which interferes with relationships? Whenever it is that this plague is eased will we find a place at our Seder tables next year to dip our fingers in wine with a greater understanding of a makah? This is our generation’s darkness. We need to all pray together to watch and acknowledge when the light is returned and never forget how it affected all of us.
By Nina Glick
