I like to think I’m a sensitive person. When I hear someone is having trouble it bothers me. When I see an ambulance I say some Tehillim and I try to daven for others in my Shemoneh Esrei. I’m not alone. Klal Yisrael is known for its ability to unite and empathize with each other.

So many times we’ve seen people asking for Tehillim or tefillos and people have stepped up and made Tehillim chains. Each person chooses some Tehillim to say and the next takes over where they left off. We’ve seen some pretty amazing results as I’m sure Hashem appreciates our sharing in each other’s pain.

With all the illness of late, I have gotten many texts and WhatsApps asking me to daven for someone. When I get one of these messages, I always try to stop what I’m doing and daven, even if only for a minute. We get uplifting messages about Moshiach and changing ourselves, and I try to pay attention to these as well. However, there are some triggers that make me not want to spend my time on the “URGENT MESSAGE.”

When I find something a little too hard to believe, I don’t. For example, when “a highly-respected mekubal says that Moshiach is here and we need to get as many people as possible to forward the message to twelve people, like the number of the shevatim/tribes,” I become skeptical.

I recall hearing in the name of the Chasam Sofer that when Moshiach comes, even babies in their cribs will be aware of it. I doubt it’s because they have WhatsApp. Rather, I suggest that when Moshiach comes we will all be enlightened by the Shechina and recognize the change.

So, I don’t understand why it would be important to spread the message to a certain number of people that Moshiach is here. Even if it said, “We each need to say the following two chapters of Tehillim” and it required that I forward it, it raises my hackles. Requesting that people forward something is a classic sign of a hoax, though some trusting souls haven’t realized it yet. When I got the message about the mekubal, I quickly searched some keywords and replied to the sender with links to the same message from 2016 and 2011. I guess maybe we didn’t reach enough people?

One recent message really upset me. It had the name of a sick person to daven for. I don’t think I searched it like I’ve done others in the past (like the IDF soldier urgently injured that goes around every few years—same name, I checked). I said some Tehillim but my heart wasn’t in it. Why? Because the person who originated the message added some stage direction.

In addition to the dreaded “send this to five people” they added “don’t be lazy.” Excuse me? Did you just ask me a favor and say “Don’t be lazy”?? If I don’t choose to forward your message it isn’t because I’m lazy. On the contrary, so many of these messages get forwarded when they shouldn’t because people are too lazy to read them in their entirety before forwarding them.

If I don’t forward an “URGENT MESSAGE” it is because something seems off to me, and I also imagine that everyone I forwarded it to would already have gotten it from someone else. The focus of the message changes from the ill person to the sender of the message who needs validation by having their message go viral. In fact, it’s lazy on their part for only sending it to some people and not others. Maybe they could have asked other people to help them in their goal of reaching more people and requested that they share. But don’t tell me not to “break the chain”; that just makes me think about the sender, not the one who might need tefillos.

That, in fact, is a completely un-Jewish phrase. Don’t break the chain typically referred to chain letters, wherein people were encouraged to send cash in the mail to the people whose names were on the list, then remove the top person’s name and add theirs to the bottom, moving everyone up. The idea was a pyramid scheme trying to get people to send money to a stranger, the one who had initiated the chain letter and his friends listed just beneath. So how do you get people to do this when the greed factor isn’t enough?

You add a superstitious component. “Don’t break the chain. If you don’t send these letters out, you will be followed by bad luck for seven years.” Something like that is enough for many people to listen, and especially when now it’s electronic and nobody’s asking you to send real money. The people who do forward them say, “I’m sending this because…you never know.”

If you want to know which chain should remain whole, it’s the one that links us back to our avos hakedoshim who connected with Hashem on their own and didn’t depend on everyone else doing their work for them. It’s the one wherein a heartfelt prayer means more than a thousand meaningless ones. You may ask others to join you, but make sure the focus remains in the right place, and don’t use hokey language like above.

If you think that “breaking a chain” like the message says is bad luck, you should try thinking about what breaking the real chain of mesorah might mean. It might take some work, but “don’t be lazy.” You’re the only one who can do that job for you, and hey, this is one thing you always know.

Jonathan Gewirtz is an inspirational writer and speaker whose work has appeared in publications around the world. He also operates JewishSpeechWriter.com, where you can order a custom-made speech for your next special occasion. Sign up for the Migdal Ohr, his weekly PDF Dvar Torah in English. E-mail [email protected] and put Subscribe in the subject.