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December 4, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Don’t Tell Me to Chill

They say dogs are “man’s best friend.” In our case, it was a “girl’s best friend.” Yakira and Louie (I’ll leave it to you to figure out who is who) had been best buddies for years and their bond kept getting stronger. Yakira took Louie for more walks than her three other siblings combined, and was the only one Louie would allow to wash him. Louie slept in Yakira’s room, and in her bed when she was away for the night; you couldn’t even coax him out with his favorite treat. Louie was officially the family dog, but he took to Yakira the day he arrived home, and the rest was history.

One Sunday afternoon, Yakira and Louie were out for a walk when Yakira noticed a woman walking her dog in the distance. The pair was walking towards Yakira and Louie, and as they got closer, Yakira noticed that the other dog was the same breed as Louie, a Beagle. As the two sets of walking partners crossed paths, the woman stopped to admire Louie. She said that Louie was one of the best-looking and biggest Beagles she’d ever seen. Maybe, the woman suggested, Yakira should enter Louie into a competition.

Well, that was all Yakira needed to hear. She always knew her dog was special, but now she had confirmation. When they got home, Yakira hopped right on the internet to learn how to get Louie competition-ready. At first, it seemed simple enough—diet, training and grooming. But then, Yakira got into the details. Champion dogs had very strict diets and exercise routines, and very very strict grooming strategies. A few sites recommended going to a consultant to see if you and your dog had what it took to win. Although the effort involved seemed challenging, Yakira was determined. She spoke with her parents, who offered to pay for half of what Yakira needed to get started. Yakira had money saved up from her summer job, gifts from grandparents, and her custom scrunchy business, so she was ready to go.

At the start, Louie really seemed to enjoy the training just as much as Yakira. The new foods and exercises were exciting for Louie, and his tail wagged whenever they did anything related to training. Encouraged by this success, Yakira got in deeper. She spent her free time learning as much as she could about dog competitions, and between school and basic needs, that was it.

However, at this point, Yakira’s family began to worry about her. It started when Yakira was chosen to share a d’var Torah at her school’s Rosh Chodesh breakfast. According to her teachers, Yakira spoke for 11 minutes about training dogs, which she loosely connected to a pasuk in the parsha. The Torah part took 30 seconds. Soon after, Yakira started falling asleep in class, and eventually stopped talking about anything but Louie.

Teachers, parents, siblings, friends—nobody in Yakira’s life could get her to slow down. Just suggesting that Yakira take a break would earn you “the stare of death.” While others eventually shrugged their shoulders and moved on, Yakira’s parents wouldn’t. Nothing they did made a difference. Yakira was getting more intense, and Louie (remember him?) wasn’t doing as well with his training. Yakira just blamed herself, which made her put more effort into solving the problem. What was there to do?

Fortunately, the answer came to Yakira’s mother two weeks after the “D’og Torah” incident. She was waiting for the bus to the city when she overheard a man talking. “…so she told me to ‘chill’ which made me even more upset. How can she tell me that without understanding why I’m not being chill? Maybe if she took stamp collecting as seriously as I do, I might listen.” Yakira’s mother’s eyes widened. That was it! That evening, she stepped outside and sat on her front porch and waited. Forty minutes later, the woman who originally suggested training Louie walked by with her dog. Yakira’s mother came down to speak with her, and from the look on both women’s faces, they understood each other.

The next evening, Yakira came back from walking Louie with an announcement. “Everyone! I think I’m going to ease up on training Louie. Mrs. Nelson said that if I relax, Louie will relax, and it will be better for him and his training. So, if anyone wants to play a game or something, I’m available!”

Yitro’s advice to Moshe played a significant role in Bnei Yisrael’s survival as a nation in the Midbar. We are told Yitro was a Kohen Midyan, highlighting his experience as a religious leader. Yitro’s past experience is what made him the perfect candidate to advise Moshe. May Hashem help us do our best to understand what someone is going through before giving advice.


Yair Daar is the director of student life at Bicultural Hebrew Academy High School. He can be reached at [email protected]

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