Two weeks ago I had the pleasure of meeting Eric. Upon entering the office of my ophthalmologist I noticed that among the people sitting in the waiting room was a man in a wheelchair who obviously to me was born with cerebral palsy. It is, as you know, easy for me to recognize such a disability as our daughter was born that way. I passed him as I walked in to see the doctor as my turn had been called and greeted him. He immediately said hi.

After meeting with the first person for my appointment (one day after cataract surgery) I was told to wait in the outside waiting area once again. I returned to where I was sitting and again stopped to greet the man who told me his name was Eric and I told him my name. We began to chat and without knowing anything about me he said, “You know, Nina, I am dying to have a challah!” He said he had not had any challah for a very long time. That request began a lively conversation in which he told me much about himself. He now lives in an apartment in Rockleigh (not the Rockleigh) and moved there from Massapequa. He mentioned the many rabbonim he had known when he was younger, many of whom I knew well. He attended shabbatons in his younger years and even remarked that he had wanted to go to YU, but at that time there were no facilities in the dorm to accommodate anyone with physical disabilities.

As I stood there totally amazed by everything he was saying, I felt so moved by much that he told me about his life. He is 62 years old, no longer has living parents, and lives as vibrant a life as he can without any Jewish connection. He was attended by an aide. When I asked my daughter Dena why he would feel comfortable mentioning the challah to me, she informed me that I was the only one in the waiting room who was wearing a tichel and the only one in the room who took the time to schmooze with him, (Sometimes I guess I am very ignorant.) Eric told me that he had been on shabbatons at Lincoln Square and other places and had gotten to know Rabbi Avi Weiss and had not spoken to him for probably 40 years. I promised that I would have Rabbi Avi Weiss call him, and as Toby and Avi Weiss are close “very” old friends I did connect them. I hope that sometime in the near future I will accompany Eric to Riverdale to visit with the Weisses!

Over many years I have observed people walking away from people with disabilities. I have seen them cross the street, move their seat, pretend they do not hear or see, and each time it occurs my heart breaks for the person they are avoiding. If only more people would realize that Hashem made us all and we are not intended to be the same. The loneliness that surrounds so many of these individuals is heartbreaking. Eric told me that when he lived in Massapequa he had his own business. We did not get into the details. I must say that I am curious and will eventually find out.

There has to be a better way to break down the barriers. Our community is doing much to integrate and educate our young people about the need to do so. But as I have said in the past, the young, eager and smiling faces of those with various disabilities do not stay cute forever. They grow older, just as we do. They begin to grey and have wrinkles, yet behind these changes are the same sweet, lonely people who used to be young and cute.

If each person would make the effort to greet someone despite their discomfort it would make the world a much better place. L’havdil, think of a friend who suddenly suffers a debilitating disability and no longer is able to communicate in the same way as in the past. Suddenly in a wheelchair, not articulating as he did. There are those, due to their own discomfort, who will no longer reach out to someone who may have been a close friend. These things happen, and inside those minds, all of them are grieving people knowing they are being shunned and isolated. Remember, everyone: Anything can happen to anyone!

The smile on Eric’s face when I actually arrived with a challah was pure beauty and made me feel so happy. People don’t realize that when they do something for someone else, they are doing so much more for themselves.