Ilona Bravman’s intelligence, warmth and sensitivity were not apparent until you got to know her. She was born with type 1 spinal muscular atrophy and wasn’t expected to live past two years old. Ilona far surpassed that prediction. Although physically, she used a wheelchair, her mind soared. She inspired everyone she met with her determination and accomplishments until she passed away at age 28 on July 4, 2021.
The Bravman family is honoring Ilona’s memory with a series of panel discussions under the banner, “Inspired by Ilona.” The first one, “Embracing All Differences,” will be about how to reframe our thinking to understand and include people in our lives who are differently abled, not disabled. It will be held on March 8, at 8:00 p.m. at Shomrei Torah, 19-10 Morlot Avenue, Fair Lawn and on Livestream. The panel includes Rav Judah Mischel, executive director of Camp HASC; Zeesy Grossbaum, director of The Friendship Circle of Bergen County and Adeena Penner, community rebbetzin and mother of a young man with autism. “We put together a vibrant group of panelists,” said Shomrei Torah’s Rabbi Andrew Markowitz. “They have experience in their personal and communal lives and can offer different perspectives. The program will be interactive, with time for questions, not just a presentation.”
The Bravman family wanted to do something in Ilona’s memory to create a positive impact on those who knew her, and more importantly, those who didn’t have the opportunity to know her. “This program is for people who are struggling with challenges in their own home, some privately alone, and for all of us to learn how to be more inclusive and open to people different from us in our lives,” said Rabbi Markowitz. “Ilona never complained about her difficulties and challenges. We all have the responsibility to learn from that.”
Rabbi Markowitz said it was a privilege to have Ilona grow up in their community. “So many of us were inspired by Ilona’s life…her ability to break ground and to get involved in so many different areas. She loved coming to shul and Torah. Everyone around her learned so much about how to include other people and make space for them. My daughters gained from visiting her. I heard someone say, ‘I became a nurse because of Ilona,’ and ‘I changed who I was’ from interacting with Ilona.”
“Ilona couldn’t speak verbally, but she was more intelligent than most,” said Nancy Bravman, her mother. “Some people judged her. People asked, ‘Does she get it?’ She was severely disabled but incredibly accomplished. She learned to speak with a computer. Don’t judge by appearances. Everybody has strengths.”
The Bravmans had to be strong advocates for Ilona to get the education she needed. An evaluation at age two by an augmentative communication specialist suggested she would benefit from using a device. She was placed in public school and the staff didn’t know how to teach her. After they took legal action, Ilona was placed into the CP Center in Clifton at 4 years old, and the world opened up to her. At 5 years old, with her one good hand, she learned to use the switch to speak through the computer, taught by the person who had evaluated her and believed in her.
The speech therapist who had worked with her admitted years later that she had no idea what to do with Ilona. “She told us she thought we were nuts and she hadn’t realized that Ilona was brilliant,” Bravman recalled. “We intuitively knew that and needed the world to see. That’s what I want other people to know and why I wanted to start this series. Families have to work hard to prove it to the world when it’s not apparent.”
Pre-Registration for “Embracing All Differences” is not necessary. For the Livestream link, contact https://biolink.fyi/ilona.
By Bracha Schwartz
