“Gesundheit!” “Labriut!” “Bless you!” These are expressions we all use when we hear someone sneeze. Where did this custom come from? Why do we only say something after a sneeze but not a cough? In this week’s parsha of Vayechi, we read about our forefather, Yaakov, preparing for his own death. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 107b) relates that until Yaakov’s times, people did not get sick before they died. Instead, they died suddenly. In fact, the Pirkei DeRabbi Eliezer (chapter 52) tells us that a man walking in the street would sneeze, and his soul would immediately exit via his nostrils. Hence, we anxiously say, “Gesundheit!” when a person sneezes.
Yaakov beseeched Hashem to allow the elderly to get sick and feeble before they died. This way, the person’s relatives could visit him before he died. The dying person could leave final instructions to his children, and preparations could be made for the funeral and beyond.
This Shabbos, parshat Vayechi, has been designated by the National Association of Chevra Kadisha (NASCK) as a day dedicated to raising awareness of end-of-life matters. The traditional end-of-life awareness movement (TEAM) Shabbos is a national movement dedicated to generating positive awareness, educating and guiding the Jewish community on the value of life and making appropriate end-of-life decisions. The idea is to raise awareness of issues such as pre-need funeral arrangements, buying graves, writing halachic wills, preventing autopsies and cremation, arranging for traditional Jewish burials and appreciating the work of the local chevra kadisha.
Yaakov—in this week’s parsha—arranges to be buried in Israel. He blesses his children and grandchildren, speaks about the end of days, prepares his final funeral arrangements and is then “gathered to his people.”
The parsha is entitled, “Vayechi Yaakov,” translated to mean, “and Yaakov lived.” Similarly, an earlier parsha is entitled, “Chayei Sarah,” meaning “the life of Sarah.” Judaism is a religion that places more emphasis on what takes place while we are alive, than on what happens afterward. In fact, in Gemara Taanit 5b, Rabbi Yochanan is quoted as saying that our forefather, Yaakov, never died. Our sages tell us that as long as we carry on the lessons and traditions of our parents and forefathers, we keep their memories alive. They live on through us.
This idea resonates with a powerful anecdote from the Talmud (Brachot 18a), where the sages discuss whether the dead are aware of the actions of the living. Rabbi Chiya supports the idea that they are aware, using the scriptural phrase, “and they buried him,” to demonstrate that funerary honors and actions for the deceased must have meaning. Rabbi Yonatan raises practical challenges to this view, but the debate ultimately emphasizes that the righteous—even in death—are considered alive. Their influence continues through the legacies they leave behind and the values they inspire in their descendants. The Midrash Tanchuma (parshat Chayei Sarah 1) explains that the righteous are considered alive because their teachings and actions continue to inspire and guide others—creating a lasting spiritual impact.
We remember our loved ones both individually and collectively. Individually, we cherish the good times, fond memories, and positive character traits they exhibited. Collectively, we honor their legacy by upholding Jewish customs, culture and traditions. As Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch beautifully explains, the phrase “gathered to his people” emphasizes the connection between generations. Just as one relay runner hands the Olympic torch to the next, so too, do we carry the spiritual torch of our ancestors forward.
In the “Kel Maleh Rachamim” prayer, we ask that the soul of the deceased be “bound in the bond of the living.” What does this mean? One interpretation might be that the souls of our loved ones remain intertwined with ours, so long as we cherish their memories, follow their examples and uphold the Jewish values and traditions that defined them. By doing this, we keep them alive in a spiritual sense. As Rabbi Nachman of Breslov teaches, “When a person’s name and deeds are remembered, their influence continues to flow in this world.”
As we read parshat Vayechi, let us take a moment to reflect on the end-of-life issues that need to be addressed. The Talmud (Shabbat 153a) advises, “Repent one day before your death,” underscoring the importance of living with intention and readiness. Let us appreciate our lives and ensure that we transmit the values and traditions of our parents and forefathers to the next generation. May Hashem bless us to live fully, meaningfully and healthily for all of our days. “Labriut!”
Rabbi Dr. Avi Kuperberg is a forensic, clinical psychologist and a member of the American Psychology-Law Society. He is the coordinator of Bikur Cholim/Chesed at Congregation Torah Ohr in Boca Raton, Florida. He can be reached at [email protected].
