The familiar debate among social scientists contrasting the importance of nature versus nurture in human development has been going on for at least two centuries, according to experts in the field. We consider in this essay some of the impressions that have been gathered concerning the children of famous persons and the challenges they face. For reasons of space limitations, we will limit ourselves to situations generally where the parents of our subjects are considered “celebrities” as the term is widely understood, so we will not be discussing the more numerous, successful persons who operate in the private sphere, yet raise successful children. Following a look at famous offspring of famous parents and the scope of their achievements, we will consider some of the situations where child rearing has not worked out quite as well—or even tragically—for successful parents. Hopefully in the course of this essay we will be able to glean some answers as to what it is like to be related to someone whose existence, achievements and persona can be said to have altered the world.
As a preliminary observation, it should be clear from the outset that the principles of Jewish mussar that “Ma’aseh Avot Siman L’Bonim,”that “the deeds of the ancestors are a guide for their descendants,” describes a law of nature that finds imitation and repetition as sources of successful human behavior. It is thus clear that high-achieving parents in multiple fields often set in motion patterns of behaviors by their offspring that contribute to a great extent to the success of their progeny. But we must also consider that some of the biblical examples of parenting are quite sobering. We live at a time when many parents are spending unexpectedly longer and longer periods with their offspring at home and in close parental contact as a result of the pandemic world in which we find ourselves; one would hope and expect this would lead to a better understanding of their offspring. Though some authorities may differ, the biblical examples of King David and his father, Yishai, and of Joseph, the son of patriarch Jacob, caution us about being too optimistic about successful parent-children relationships. Reading scripture, if it proves anything, reveals parents who were unwilling or, more likely, unable to fully evaluate the potential of each of their own children, either overrating them, “spoiling them” or consigning them in their minds to a life of mediocrity, as “also rans” among their numerous siblings. If not for their innate qualities, both David and Joseph might not have achieved their full potentials. Their fathers’ parenting skills seem to have been less than optimal.
The phenomenon of poor evaluating skills is a societal ill and is not limited to parent-child relations: Anyone charged with creating successful team dynamics at home or at play knows how important it is to properly determine every teammate’s likely contribution in an ideal setting to the success of the group. That rule applies to everything from a family trip or outing to the local little league team to a professional sports season.
Given the fact that often parents themselves fail to realize their offspring’s potential for achievement or are unable to spend the time to supervise their offspring adequately, it is somewhat surprising that children of famous parents succeed as often as they do. The literature on this subject contains many lists of famous children of famous parents. While my observations are not based on a scientific study of the sources, they are based on my impressions and experiences garnered over many years. The areas of parent-child achievement are impressive and numerous, ranging from politics, music, art, acting, rabbinic and general scholarship, literature, science, exploration, sports, industry and philanthropy. One can find numerous studies of famous dads and their famous sons or famous people whose careers were inspired by mothers. Fewer in number, but disturbing, are the lists of celebrities who didn’t get along with their parents, celebrities who’ve had toxic relationships with their parents or whose parents have committed horrible crimes. The latter lists also include famous people who picked careers that their parents disapproved of, all leading to the most depressing of all, celebrities who have lost children to suicide.
A review of all this material leads to some pretty obvious conclusions: Celebrities have very similar childrearing outcomes to those experienced by the general public. As celebrities, their lives take place in the public eye, their childrearing “mistakes” or missteps receiving public scrutiny to a degree that private citizens cannot fathom. The most one can say is that those celebrity parents who make the greatest efforts to raise their children out of the public eye have had greater success in allowing their children to reach their potential for achievement. As far as the rest of us—the non-celebrities among us—as always, it is the quality of time we spend with our offspring that will determine outcomes, rather than the quantity of time. Remember that when you next contemplate all the extra time and contact with your children the pandemic has allowed you; don’t be too judgmental, be objective (as difficult as that may be), allow for growth and never write off your child’s potential for future achievement.
Joseph Rotenberg, a frequent contributor to The Jewish Link, has resided in Teaneck for over 45 years with his wife, Barbara. His first collection of short stories and essays, entitled “Timeless Travels: Tales of Mystery, Intrigue, Humor and Enchantment,” was published in 2018 by Gefen Books and is available online at Amazon.com. He is currently working on a follow-up volume of stories and essays.
