Davening always came naturally to Eli. Based on his upbringing, this made sense. Whether watching his older siblings daven on non-school days, listening to his mother daven Kabbalat Shabbat at home, or sitting in shul with his father, Eli had all the right tefillah influences in his life. Eli’s family had a few adorable videos of him “davening” from an upside down chumash, along with some more moving videos of Eli, like the first time he davened while wearing tefillin. For a while Eli’s love of tefillah was strong and steady, whether at school, at shul or at home.
However, as Eli moved from middle school into high school, his connection to tefillah started to change. Eli had a harder time concentrating on davening, he sometimes missed davening Maariv at night and he started coming late to shul on Shabbat. As someone who always tried to be the best he could be, this concerned Eli. Why was he feeling this way? What could he do to get that inspiration back?
The first strategy Eli tried was to think back to his happiest times davening. He thought about his first time davening in tefillin, the first time he served as chazan after his bar mitzvah, and the first time he used his siddur in first grade. “Great,” thought Eli, “all I need to do is find something new for each time I daven.” Well, as you can imagine, this turned out to be pretty difficult. The first day Eli used a siddur he had never used before for Shacharit and Mincha. However, Eli had already used each type of siddur in his shul, so he had to come up with something different for Maariv. He tried singing the first part in a tune, but the tune he chose didn’t really fit the words, which frustrated Eli. So much for that strategy.
Eli’s next idea was to try and go back in time, not literally of course. Eli remembered the joy he felt davening with his class and morah in preschool, and how much fun it was to daven on the rug in a circle. So, with his school’s permission. Eli tried davening with a local kindergarten class every morning for a week. Again, this did not turn out as Eli hoped it would (unless you consider accidentally sitting on a little boy and making him cry, and a group of 18 kindergarteners pulling at your tefillin straps until your head almost comes off to be a success).
Finally, Eli decided that maybe his own past experiences were not the best place to find advice. So, as many Jews have done before him and many will after, Eli sought advice from the parsha. He opened up Parshat Vayeitzei and began to read the story of Yaakov leaving Eretz Canaan to go to Charan. Eli realized that this experience of Yaakov’s might be more similar to his own. Yaakov, by leaving for Charan, was leaving the simpler life in Hashem’s holy land, to a life in which he had to fend for himself. Similarly, by moving on from middle school to high school, Eli was moving from a simpler life to a more challenging one. In high school he had many more responsibilities, much more work and was more concerned with making friends and fitting in than he had ever been.
On the way out of Eretz Canaan, the Torah tells us “vayifgah bamakom—Yaakov had an encounter at the place.” Chazal tell us that this refers to Yaakov davening, and Rashi tells us that the place mentioned here is Har HaMoriah, the location of the Beit Hamikdash. How could Yaakov have been on Har HaMoriah if it is nowhere near the border of Eretz Canaan? Rashi adds that Hashem miraculously “folded” the earth so that Yaakov was actually above HaHamoriah.
From these pesukim, Eli understood that in a more complicated life, one must make a makom—a place—for Hashem. The connection we have to Hashem from our youth may not be enough. Instead, we must create space for Hashem, both physically, by finding the right place to daven, and mentally, by bringing Hashem to a place where He might not normally be found (just as Hashem brought Har HaMoriah to Yaakov).
So, to try and improve his tefillah, Eli did a few things. First, he made sure to daven next to people who took davening seriously, even if it meant moving away from his friends. This created the proper place for Eli to daven. Second, Eli made himself a schedule of when and where he would daven on non-school days. By making a place in his schedule beforehand, Eli felt it easier to daven with focus. Even if he ended up davening at home, Eli made sure to daven in a place that was appropriate for tefillah (not on the couch with the TV on). Finally, Eli made sure to say one perek of tehillim during the day when he was not in shul or school. This way, Eli was able to bring to tefillah to a time and place where tefillah wasn’t usually found.
As time went on, Eli’s connection to tefillah became stronger. Of course, there were still times that Eli felt it more difficult to daven. However, by thinking about tefillah as creating a makom for Hashem, Eli appreciated davening in a way that always brought him back.
Yair Daar is the Middle School Dean of Students at Yeshivat He’Atid. He can be reached at [email protected].
