“Mommy, I wanna stay with Tali in her school and learn stuff.”

Sorry Batya, you’re smart but not quite ready for high school.

“Mommy, I’m a thinker. I can handle high school.”–Batya, age 6

“Mom, what is the name of the donkey in Shrek? Is it Don Quixote?”–Hannah, age 3

“Dip the apple in the ketchup, make a bracha loud and clear!”–Hannah, age 3

Mommy: “You know, Eitan, Mommy knows a thing or two.”

Eitan: “Mommy, you only know one or two things?”–Eitan, age 4

“Mommy, when we go to shul, we pray to a turtle… I mean Hashem”–Sarah, age 3

“…And then Morah Sharon pulled Yonah out of the dolphin.”–Hannah, age 2

“Mommy, I wish Hashem would come down from heaven because I love him so much and want to give him a big hug.”–Yael, age 4

My pre-k and 1st-grade boys recently started taking the bus home from school. One day my 4-year-old came off the bus visibly upset. I asked him what was wrong, and he pointed to his older brother and said, “He woke me up!” I asked my 6-year-old, “Why didn’t you let him sleep?” And he looks at me and says: “We were home, Mommy.”–Dena Abrams Rosenberg (via Facebook)

“Da Vinci painted the Morah Lisa.”–Anonymous, age 3 (via Facebook)

“I was playing Boggle with my 8-year-old and had the word ‘vat.’ I noticed she was sneaking a peek at my list of words and I just let it slide. When we reviewed our words and came to the word ‘vat’ I asked her what it meant. Her response was ‘You know when people don’t speak English so well and they say VAT IS DAT??’”–Aviva Markowitz (via Facebook)

“I was calling in our meter reading. I had the automated system with the female voice on speaker. My 4-year-old whispered to me, ‘Mommy, is that Siri?’”–Ahuva Kolat (via Facebook)

My son used to say: “Where’s my pacifollow?” This was a pacifier that followed him everywhere.–Lydia Sultanik

Ari (age 3): I’m doing my work-up dance.

Me: Did you make it up yourself or did you learn it in school?

Ari: I learned it from you. It’s called a sacretary.

Me: Do you mean a secretary?

Ari: No, a sacretary. It’s a small animal that lives in people’s hair.

Me: Oh, do you mean lice?

Ari: No, it’s a sacretary! But now I’m doing a hand dance.”–Jacqueline Novikov

“I’m only going to be sick when Hannah is sick. On Tuesdays.”–Zippy, age 3.