Most people would not associate lumberjacking as an activity to do in suburban New Jersey—but they’d be mistaken! Located roughly 15 minutes outside of the Teaneck area, you can find the rustic Stumpy’s Hatchet House for your entertainment. With 16 private “throwing pits,” it is a great place to throw a party, have a team-building event, or go on a unique date.
The idea for Stumpy’s was formed in 2015 when couples Stuart and Kelly Josberger, along with their friends Mark and Trish Oliphan, were having a casual barbeque. Stuart and Mark were chopping wood for the grill when they decided to have a friendly ax-throwing competition. They added a target to make it more challenging, and realized that the game had the potential to be a fun business. The next year, they opened the first Stumpy’s in Eatontown, New Jersey.
I actually did not plan my first visit to the Hatchet House. A few days before my wedding in June 2021, I was minding my own business, when suddenly I got a knock at the door. I opened the door and my groomsmen were all standing there. Before I could even react, they quickly placed a bag over my head and kidnapped me in their car. They drove for what felt like an hour—for some reason being blindfolded makes time feel slower—but in reality was a lot shorter. At last, the car stopped, and they shoved me into a building.
Inside with the bag still over my head, I heard a lot of banging and had no idea what was going on. They took me around to various items in the place and had me touch them to guess what it was. I found out later that they put my head right by a chainsaw. After a few minutes of messing with me, they took the bag off my head, and I registered I was at an ax-throwing place.
There are no official rules that you must follow when ax-throwing, but there are standard game-play regulations signs available at each throwing pit. The scoring system is as follows: five points for a bullseye, and then one to four points per ring depending on how close to the bullseye your ax lands. Additionally, there are four small circles on the corner of the boards that are each worth seven points. The catch is, if you are slightly off-target on those corner ones, you get zero points, whereas if you are slightly off the bullseye, but within the rings, you could still get some points. Once someone scores 21 points, you win! My friends planned a tournament bracket for us to follow to make the night more competitive.
Before we were allowed to begin the competition, an instructor came over and explained some safety guidelines and showed us how to throw the hatchet. The instructor then gave me the hatchet to throw first.
I will admit I was a little nervous about throwing an ax. First of all, I was concerned I would wack myself with it while trying to throw. Second, I was worried that it might ricochet and hit me. Using two hands, I held the hatchet behind my head and then lurched my arms forward, throwing the ax. The hatchet hit the target but did not stick, instead of bouncing off and falling to the floor. I was amazed at how easy throwing the ax felt. It was not so heavy, and I felt I had a lot of control. There was also a safety line that I stood behind, so the hatchet did not come close to harming me. Ultimately, I realized it was not so scary after all.
We rented two pits with two targets per pit, so eight of us got to play at a time. The tournament lasted an hour or so and was a blast! I lost to the eventual champ, Ami Malek, in the final four.
When not ax-throwing in between turns, Stumpy’s provided various GIANT games. These GIANT games included giant Jenga, Connect Four and Curling Table. These games were like their respective standard versions, just with much bigger pieces. There was also Cornhole, a dome hockey table and Nok Hockey to play.
If you end up going and feel like a pro, you might want to consider joining the hatchet-throwing league. For just $90, you’ll get to compete every Wednesday night from March 2 to April 13. The league includes standard play, weekly challenges and a final championship.
After the tournament, we continued ax-throwing for fun or playing the GIANT games for the next hour. At the end of the night, one of the staff members handed me a large chunk of wood from one of the former targets that had all of my friends’ signatures on it. On the board was written “Congrats on getting hitched, Zack.” It was an amazing way to cap off the evening.
Recommendation:
I would rate my experience a 6.5 out of 10. I enjoyed the rustic atmosphere and the thrilling games. I found the staff to be friendly when greeting us and teaching us how to ax-throw. However, throwing the ax for over an hour was tiring, so I would want to wait some time before revisiting. Still, I would recommend heading over as soon as you can if you have not been there and want to try it out.
Price: $20-25 a person per hour depending on group size
Location: Upper Saddle River
Unique Feature: Only five Dreamscape locations on the planet
If you have any recommendations of fun places for me to cover, please email me at [email protected].
