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November 1, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

‘Haftorah’ on the Dating Parsha

I’m writing in response to the dating thoughts by the 22-year-old gentleman who has been shidduch dating for 17 months (“Dating Thoughts From Someone #InTheDatingParsha,” January 14, 2021). I’d first like to correct his “fundamental romantic truth” about prettiness fading and hotness disappearing, and hope that he begs his mother for forgiveness. “Aishes Chayil” doesn’t say that a woman’s beauty will fade, rather that beauty is not the quality to focus on. Of course there needs to be attraction on the part of each party.

As the author quoted Rabbi Hershel Schachter, who said he was attracted to good midot, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As is disgust. I had a date with a relatively handsome man who, upon learning about my eventual profession, asked on our first date if I had the capability to prescribe Pfizer’s little blue pill. We did not go out again.

The author pokes fun at his shallowness for saying no to a girl based on looks so that we chuckle along with him; and gives himself an “out” because the potential match didn’t look like Jennifer Aniston, a character whose looks he has been trained to desire. He also points out the “what if someone better-looking comes along” conundrum.

Yes. These are all real problems. Now we know why he withheld his name. He never actually finished his thought to give his response to Rabbis Twersky and Schachter. The author changed gears completely and implored all Jewish people to help the older singles.

#ThatCameOutOfLeftField

Back to the topic, which was left on a bit of a cliffhanger—Are women constantly looking for Brad Pitt? No. They watch TV, too. They’re looking more for a Billy Crystal character (from “When Harry Met Sally,” not “The Princess Bride”). OK, that’s an overgeneralization. It is unfair of me to speak for singles since I am married. I hear many anecdotes from my friends who are dating guys who are looking for Charlie Sheen’s girlfriend. Are all of these guys actually real-life Charlie Sheens? I hope not.

I do wish the author the best of luck in his dating endeavors, and hope that he can fill his pool a little deeper, and soon say, “Chazak, Chazak, V’nitchazek.”

Ahuva Lamm
Fair Lawn
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