I have been quite satisfied throughout my life with the “titles” I have been addressed as. It was a pleasure to be My Dvorah, Mrs, Mommy, Bubbie and Rebbetzin. Why in the world do I now need to have a hashtag? Wasn’t the world functioning quite well before we needed to add extra tzures to our lives? Amusingly, hash used to be referred to as chopped potatoes with meat and or a form of hashish.

It’s bad enough that we now require passwords for everything. It doesn’t matter what I sign into online, everyone requires a password. Which grandchild’s info did I use on that site? Who can remember and they say not to to use the same password for every site and to change passwords frequently. If I did that I would never be able to sign into anything. As it is, the challenge is daunting and a humongous pain in the neck. I would be happy to use my fingerprint to enter into every site. I am sure that no one has been able to figure out how to replicate that (or have they?).

Who remembers when a bird brilliantly chirping on a tree outside their window was called a twitter? I do not want to get my news and information on Twitter. I really have been okay without it. Trump’s twitter site, Michelle Obama’s twitter site, Megan Markle’s twitter site, really? Who cares?

I used to follow the car in front of me while driving. I tried to follow the directions while baking a cake. Has anyone been in a room with several people recently as they discuss all of the people they are “following”? “Oh my gosh, that is the most delicious cheesecake.” “Oh, I got the recipe from Chubbie. Don’t you follow her? She’s amazing.” Everyone is following someone but it is not physical. On Instagram the world is following the world. So many people have become influencers that I feel sorry for teachers today. If they want to have an influence on their students it would probably be more effective if they did it through their “site.”

I never realized that I need to follow an influencer who can help me decide what to wear, where to eat and which vacation spot is the most exotic. Need shoes, a new sheitel, window coverings? See what the influencers have to say and imagine the money that they are making each time you check into their sites.

Let’s not even start with TikTok. What the heck is that? I definitely do not need a “platform” to share myself dancing, singing and acting like a mashuganah for the public to see. Can we not just leave ticking and tocking to the sounds on clocks and watches?

I know that some will laugh and think that I am ridiculous and showing my age but there is something special about making our own decisions based upon what we like instead of what others like, finding out news by reading the paper (Yay, Jewish Link!), listening to the radio and just thinking for ourselves. Anyone who would be interested in commenting on this can do so on my Instagram page (not).

Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].