Pete was born into an unfortunate situation. He was the firstborn child to parents who each wanted a son to name after their fathers. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem (a child can have two names), but not for this child. Pete’s maternal father was named Snoopy, and his maternal grandfather was named Leaky. Naming their child Snoopy Leaky or Leaky Snoopy were both clearly out of the question. So Pete’s parents combined the two names into one (Sneaky) and added a less unique middle name (Pete). And so, Sneaky Pete was born.
From childhood, Sneaky Pete lived up to his name, committing silly and sneaky crimes. Pete first found himself in jail at age 14 and was convicted of sneaky crimes 21 times before reaching the age of 30. Pete’s two most famous pranks involved turning a public pool red with Kool Aid mix, and switching all the left shoes in one town with all the right shoes of another town. So nobody was shocked when Sneaky Pete found himself in front of a judge for pouring cups of cold water on people heads in the showers at the local gym.
Such sneakiness would normally have landed Pete in jail for a few days, but this judge tried a different approach. Judge Harry T. Stone had punished Pete on eight earlier occasions and had yet to see a change. So this time Judge Stone did not send Pete to jail, not even for an hour. “Maybe,” thought the judge, “if Pete doesn’t get attention for his actions, he will stop being so sneaky.” Judge Stone’s choice did have a major impact, but not how he expected. After the judge announced the decision to let Pete go, Pete began to cry. “Please, Your Honor! I have done wrong! I have frozen those who were seeking warmth! I have shocked with water and angered many men! You must put me away! Maybe just for the night?” Judge Stone was having none of it. “Pete, just be happy you got away with it. Next case!” With that, Pete was escorted out of the building and sent home.
That night, at the county jail, Officer Eugene Tackleberry was checking in on the prisoners when he was met with a surprise. “Sneaky Pete! Didn’t Judge Stone send you home? What are you doing back here?” After Pete didn’t answer, Officer Tackleberry noticed the dust on Pete’s clothing…and then he noticed the hammer…and the rope…and then the giant hole in the wall! “Pete? Did you break into jail?” Pete grinned sheepishly. “Yes, Officer Tackleberry. I missed jail so much. Please let me stay! Please don’t tell Judge Stone!” Despite Pete’s pleas, Officer Tackleberry immediately grabbed the phone and called the judge, who made his way over to speak to Pete himself.
Judge Stone led Pete into an office and they sat down across from each other. “Pete, tell me what’s going on here,” began the judge. “What it is with you and getting into trouble?” Pete sat silently for a minute and then spoke. He explained to Judge Stone that he has always felt that being Sneaky is who he has to be. Pulling pranks and ending up in jail was simply what he was supposed to be doing. “…and after I had been behind bars a few times, I got used to it. I always know what I am getting into when I am serving time, and it actually makes my life easier.”
Now it was Judge Stone’s time to think. “I’ll be right back, Pete. I just need to get some air.” The judge stepped outside the jailhouse and began pacing back and forth. He could feel the solution on the edge of his mind, but he just couldn’t put it together. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his favorite thinking tool—a perfectly round stone that he liked to roll in his hand. A friend gave Judge Stone the gift and said, “Harry, like your name, you are tough as stone.” The judge looked at the stone, then looked back at the court, and then back at the stone, and then back at the court. He finally realized what to do and headed back inside.
“Pete, you are one lucky man. I, being a judge, can solve your problem here and now.” He pulled out a form that said “Legal Name Change” at the top. “Pete, let’s get rid of that Sneaky first name once and for all.”
Flash forward to one year later. Pete is sitting behind a desk at what looks like a serious job. A couple comes in and sits down and Pete hands them a few forms to sign. “Congratulations! You are now the official owners of your first home!” The couple smiles and leaves. Pete gets up and walks away from his desk. On the desk a small sign can be seen with the name “Honest Pete” on it.
In life, we often get stuck in routines and habits that make us think, “This is who I am, and I won’t be able to change.” This thought is not helpful, but does make us feel comfortable. If we can’t change, there is nothing to worry about. Bnei Yisrael fell into this trap, which is why, in this week’s parsha, they complain to return to Mitzrayim. We should all try to figure what our “Mitzrayims” are and do our best to move past them.
Shabbat Shalom!
By Yair Daar
Yair Daar is an assistant principal and the resident parsha storyteller at Yeshivat He’Atid. He can be reached at: [email protected]. He wishes all of his readers a wonderful summer!
