With Lag B’Omer behind us, the wedding season has officially begun! This is my favorite time of year as I truly love working with kallahs, and I feel privileged to be an integral part of the beginning of their hair-covering journey. Given this tremendous responsibility, I try to ensure that every kallah who walks through my door has a positive experience and is comfortable wearing her piece while feeling beautiful in it. My goal is to help all kallahs happily embrace this special mitzvah, before leaving my salon.
One of the most important parts of working with a kallah is to patiently teach her how to put on the wig. I explain to kallahs that having a great wig is like having a gorgeous Chanel lipstick. The product is amazing, but knowing how to properly put it on is key. Since each hairline and head shape is unique, it’s important to me that I teach the kallah how and where to place the piece so it looks most natural for her. Regardless of the type of wig and which style the kallahs choose, they leave my salon educated about the best products to use to maintain their desired look.
It’s totally normal for kallahs, and anyone new to wearing wigs, to have a nervous type of excitement for their first debut, which for kallahs is generally the first night of sheva brachot. While they are excited to show off their new look, and are happy they no longer need to blow dry and style their own hair, they can feel insecure wearing the wig in public for the first time. This feeling is understandable; everyone who starts wearing a wig feels this way in the beginning, and getting used to wearing a wig in public is a gradual process. Below are some tips to make this transition as smooth as possible.
Tip 1: Practice
Before you wear your sheitel in public, practice wearing it at home. This gives you the ability to get familiar with putting on your wig properly. Wear it for a couple of hours at home so that you can get used to the feel. While wearing it for longer periods of time, you might realize the sheitel needs some adjustments with either the fit or cut. Doing this in advance will give you enough time to have another consultation with your sheitel macher, and she can make the necessary adjustments before the wedding. Some repairs do take time, and you don’t want to be without a wig when the time comes that you need to cover your hair. Having everything fine-tuned and perfected will make you feel more secure and give you the confidence you need on your first venture out.
Tip 2: Leave Yourself Extra Time
Plan to give yourself an extra 30 minutes to get ready for sheva brachot so that you do not feel rushed or anxious while putting on your wig. Over time, it will get quicker to do so (about 10 seconds when mastered) but until then, leave yourself extra time in the morning, especially during the first two months, until it becomes second nature to you. Once you master this skill, you will be so happy that you no longer need to leave time to style your own hair.
Tip 3: Be Prepared for Comments, and Have Your Answers Ready
To tell or not to tell, that is the question. Many kallahs work or go to school with colleagues and peers who are not aware that many Jewish women cover their hair after they get married. When you resume work or school after your wedding, be prepared for comments like “Wow! your hair looks amazing! What did you do?”
While your hair is no one’s business, and it’s your choice to tell or not to tell, most women will be curious as to how your new hair style always looks fantastic, and what they can do to their hair to get the same results.
If you are not comfortable telling, you can always respond with something like, “Thank you. I got extensions for my wedding” or “I did keratin, and got highlights for the wedding.” Then you can quickly switch the subject by asking them a question.
For some, keeping secrets is anxiety provoking or uncomfortable. They will always be nervous that a co-worker might somehow find out, or notice that their hair is not the same when that wig is sent in for a repair or wash and set. These people might feel better and more relaxed at work by telling co-workers they wear a wig and explaining why. This makes it possible to proudly wear one without having to make up stories. Many clients end up bringing their co-workers to me because they also want to have instant fabulous hair!
Wig wearing has become normalized and is no longer something to be kept secret. No one is ashamed of wearing extensions, false eyelashes, microbladed brows, etc., so wearing a sheitel is likewise nothing to be ashamed of. But it’s important to know yourself and your comfort level. You need not feel pressured to share information you don’t want to. If anyone pushes you beyond your comfort zone, smile, remember to say something noncommittal, then change the subject or walk away.
It’s also important to remember that you are not alone. Everyone who starts covering their hair feels extremely self conscious. It is a big adjustment, and it takes time to feel comfortable and confident when out in public. After a while, you will realize that no one is obsessed or scrutinizing your hair. In fact, no one really notices or pays that much attention to a stranger’s hair at all. Knowing and implementing the above tips will quickly help you debut your wig with confidence.
Sari Friedbauer is the owner of Sari’s Wigs, located in Teaneck, New Jersey. She is a licensed cosmetologist and certified wig maker. Sari is available for consults and can be reached via text at 201-694-5319.
