The amount of hats we wear can be exhausting. Years ago I led a therapy group where each person wrote down various parts and identities that included responsibilities, roles and interests in each person’s life. We then put each Post-it, containing a different role or part, on ourselves and noticed how much our body was covered by the small papers. It was astounding just how much we each have on our plates, regardless of age. Expectations, jobs, responsibilities, not to mention outside interests and relationships. They literally cover us, while also making us who we are.

And so it can be easy to state—as well as believe—that we just don’t have much time to take care of ourselves. How often have we heard people say that they know what would be helpful or good for them, but there just aren’t enough minutes in the day?

Let me be clear—life is busy. For some of us more than others, whether related to workplace demands, home-life demands, time is actually consumed in larger quantities. And then we factor in various learning styles and coping styles, noting that a task or responsibilities could take 10 minutes for one person and three hours for another. In no way am I ignoring this or pretending that people just need to “look harder” to find time.

I am suggesting, though, that there are a number of ways we can find the time to take better care of ourselves, actually recognizing the need to treat our mental health just as we value the need to pay attention to our physical health.

1. Define “Taking Care of Self”: Oftentimes when I present in schools and students hear that I will be exploring mental health, there is an immediate and apparent shut-down in their presentation; this topic can be over-explored and its meaning has become lost the more we use “mental health” as a buzz term. So pause. Think about what your mental health means to you. How would you define this? What does taking care of yourself mean? You can reflect on the ideal picture of self-care and also recognize what might be realistic for your life right now. Notice the ways that you may tend to ignore your mental health or care for yourself, and write down the reasons why you think this might occur. Oftentimes we minimize the need for self-care, focusing instead on the care of others. Or perhaps this relates to the feeling that you simply don’t have time and other responsibilities are more pressing. This may be true, but you also might be looking at this in all or nothing terms. So look for the gray.
2. Calculate and Recognize Opportunities: One of the best practical steps you can take is actually reflecting on where your time goes. This is not to say that if you do a strict or loose time audit that you will suddenly find oodles of time you had ignored. Look for 10 minutes that perhaps you spend doing something you can shift; those 10 minutes could be used for connection, a breathing exercise, crossing something off your to-do list, engaging in an act of kindness for yourself. Don’t minimize what you might find if you reflect on where your time goes.
3. Live With Intention: I tend to connect with to-do lists and sometimes I find myself accomplishing a task without remembering any part of it. We need to pause just a bit more and act intentionally. When I walk down the street to the UPS box I leave my phone in my pocket or at home and use this as an opportunity to get fresh air. I always tell clients: If you want to check social media, do so intentionally, not automatically, and have in mind that your brain might need this break. When we choose how we act and our approach to our time, our level of grounding increases which can better serve our nervous systems.
4. Reflect on Avoidance: Too often people report not having the time—when in reality, taking on self-reflection or changing habits feels overwhelming or the person feels undeserving or that it is unnecessary. You deserve support. You deserve care and consideration and you deserve a change in habits that will allow for increased health. You deserve health—mind, body, soul. Notice the part of yourself that is afraid to give yourself this. Notice if you know how much calling that friend, seeking out therapy or simply taking the time to be would help you and what gets in your way, besides time.

You may wear countless hats, and they may not come off anytime soon. But you can find more time—even just a bit—to sit. To be. Whether that’s 30 seconds or 30 minutes, it starts with the belief that you are worthy of care and health and healing. So don’t wait—get started now—you deserve it.

Temimah Zucker, LCSW, works in New York and New Jersey with individuals ages 18 and older who are struggling with mental health concerns, and she specializes in working with those looking to heal their relationships between their bodies and souls. Zucker is an advocate and public speaker concerning eating disorder awareness and a metro New York consultant at Monte Nido. She is honored to now serve on the board of Atzmi. To learn more or to reach her, visit www.temimah.com.