Pinchas and Bruchi Erlich were not big fans of Mother’s Day. It’s not that the Erlichs didn’t value their mothers; of course they did! As the fifth of the Aseret Hadibrot tells us, “Kabed et avicha v’et imecha,” we are required to honor our parents at all times. Furthermore, Pinchas’ parents and Bruchi’s parents were the best Bubby and Zaidy and Bubba and Zaida (it was a little confusing) that their children could hope for! However, to Mommy and Tatty Erlich, as their children often heard, every day is Mother’s Day! How in the world can we have one day of the year to honor our mothers? That implies we don’t have the same responsibility the rest of the time!
One year, the Erlichs decided that it wasn’t enough to oppose Mother’s Day in their own home (where they called it “Bother’s Day”). They wanted everyone to know how bad Mother’s Day was. So Pinchas and Bruchi decided to start an organization named “Serving Parents, A Community Effort: Jews Against Mother’s Day,” or SPACE: JAM for short. They posted ads in the local newspapers against Mother’s Day (“a shanda for your mama!”), and emailed everyone in the community with the subject line “Mother’s Day? More Like Bother’s Day!” asking everyone to stop celebrating. Starting in January, Morah Bruchi sent her students home with “Mother’s Day” projects once every two weeks, and SPACE: JAM declared a special day of Torah and tefillah (on the actual Mother’s Day, of course) to defend the honor of mothers everywhere.
On this special day of Torah and tefillah, members of SPACE: JAM declared they would begin by fasting. They planned to spend the morning at shul reciting selichot and Tehillim and begging Hashem to forgive the Jewish people for participating in such silliness. After mid-day, they would have a Mother’s Day card-burning ceremony, during which they would say a special prayer to ask for the destruction of Hallmark. Following the “biur cardmetz,” SPACE: JAM members planned to return to the shul to spend the day learning Torah and eating (lots and lots) of food. They invited the entire community to join and offered $25 gift certificates to the local seforim store to any children who came to learn for the day.
It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out how this made most of the community feel. Parents of Morah Bruchi’s students called for her firing, and the Erlich children seemed to have way fewer playdates. Many angry letters were published in the local paper accusing SPACE: JAM members of lashon hara, religious arrogance, and of causing machloket in the community. This burden to solve this problem fell to Rabbi and Rebbetzin Bachman, who had to stop this fighting, and fast.
The rabbi and rebbetzin felt the best approach was to try and talk sense into the Erlichs, who, in their opinion, had gone a bit too far. So they invited Pinchas and Bruchi to join them one evening for dinner, and even sent two of their own children to babysit at the Erlichs. The dinner was pleasant, as Rabbi and Rebbetzin Bachman managed to keep the conversation away from Mother’s Day. However, as the two couples were finishing up dessert, Rebbetzin Bachman broached the topic. The rebbetzin respectfully presented her and her husband’s point of view about respecting Mother’s Day, and the Erlichs listened intently. Although Pinchas and Bruchi did respect the Bachmans very much, they replied that their plans would continue (at least they agreed to cancel the card burning). But as the Erlichs were on their way out the door, Rabbi Bachman suddenly had an idea. “Pinchas, do me a favor. I know this sounds crazy, but before you go to sleep tonight, please read the fourth, fifth, and sixth aliyot of Parshat Emor—the part about Jewish holidays—three times each.” Pinchas looked puzzled but did not seem bothered by it. “Sure, Rabbi Bachman. Thanks again for dinner!”
That night before going to bed, Pinchas took out his Chumash and did exactly what Rabbi Bachman requested. He read the section of mo’adim—Jewish holidays—three times and drifted off to sleep. As he slept, Pinchas dreamed he was meeting with his son Eliyahu’s sixth grade rebbe. The rebbe took a deep, almost sad breath and began. “Mr. Erlich, Eliyahu has been a bit difficult during halacha class lately. We have been learning the laws of Yom Tov and he keeps declaring that our holidays are pointless. Just today he was arguing that the Pesach Seder is silly because—” Eliyahu’s rebbe was interrupted by a loud bang on the door. In stormed Racheli, the Erlichs’ oldest child, but she looked older and was holding a baby and looking annoyed. “Ta,” she began, “Can you please tell Mommy for the last time we aren’t coming for Rosh Hashana? Why would we come for a holiday we don’t celebrate?” Racheli then took out a shofar as Eliyahu walked in. “Tekiya Gedola!” called Eliyahu, as Racheli raised the shofar to her lips. But before she could sound it, Eliyahu’s rebbe spoke again. “Ah, Eliyahu! Welcome! I was just telling your Tati the amazing idea you had to eat matzah every day!” At this point, the sound of the shofar filled the classroom, getting louder and louder, until finally…
Pinchas woke with a start, and quickly shut his alarm off. “Bruchi. I think we are doing something terrible.”
The word the Torah uses to refer to our holidays is “moadim.” This word means more than just “a day to celebrate.” The word “mo’ed” means “an appointed time,” a time specifically set aside to focus on certain aspects of our relationship with Hashem. Although each holiday celebrates an idea that is always important, having time to focus on one part of our Jewish identities helps us strengthen that aspect of ourselves for the rest of the year. Yes, every day is an opportunity to show gratitude toward our parents. However, not every day is Mother’s Day.
By Yair Daar
