Here’s the million-dollar question: Why do people think it’s okay to talk when someone else is? OK, not people, kids; OK, not kids, students. And yes, they are people and kids. But why do they think it’s OK to talk when the teacher is??
Were you ever talking and someone suddenly interrupted you? They then said sorry, only to do it again a few minutes later? Did you get upset by the interruption? After all, what you were saying was fascinating, right? How could someone not be listening, or worse, decide that what they had to say was more important?
Well, welcome to my world! Ask any teacher how many times they have been interrupted by a student, or how many times kids were talking while the teacher was, and I guarantee that the answer is way past double digits! There I am, as usual, teaching something extremely important, and there are two students whispering to each other. Naturally I stop and glare, they get the hint and stop, only to start up again the minute I open my mouth. That can be very frustrating! They know it’s wrong and totally disrespectful, but do it anyway. And I’m talking about nice, well-brought-up kids, who certainly know it’s wrong to talk when their teacher is, so why do they do it? Well, why do we all ever do that? Don’t play innocent; have you never interrupted someone who was talking? Have you ever talked during davening? A lecture? At the dinner table, maybe not letting someone finish their sentence and just jumping in? My point is since we are our children’s best role models, if we’ve talked when someone else has…why can’t they? As Mark Twain said, “There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you’re busy interrupting.”
It all comes back to being respectful and mindful of others. As parents and teachers, we all know the importance of that simple code of behavior. As Hillel said, “Don’t do to someone what you don’t want them doing to you.” I love it when a student gets the chance to be in charge of an activity and feels for himself the consequences of someone talking when he needs their attention. You can see the student get very frustrated until he eventually winds up asking the teacher to help get his classmates quiet. Suddenly a little light goes on in his adolescent head telling him that this must be how his own teacher feels when she is trying to teach him. Amazing how the whole “walk a mile in my shoes” has such a positive effect. Listening respectfully when others are talking is a skill we may all need to work on, present company included. I’ve interrupted my husband a time or two, or ten….
“Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.”—Richard Carlson
Yes, listening… such an important, perhaps underappreciated skill. Especially today with all the extraneous distractions our children need to ignore while trying to listen to their teachers’ pearls of wisdom. It’s funny, but during a lesson, when I actually get every child’s attention and the classroom gets eerily quiet that you can hear the metaphorical pin drop, I’ll admit to you, it kind of unnerves me until I’m thinking, “Hey, Talkative Talula, say something… Why are they all so quiet? What did I do that they’re all so interested? Is it the tone of my voice? The story? Can I ever do it again?”
It’s wonderful to be listened to and there are students who do listen respectfully, even if their eyes start glazing over… They would never think of talking when their teacher is. This element of respect is ingrained deeply in their code of behavior. They serve as role models for the Talkative Talulas and Chatty Chucks. Thankfully, these sweet learners’ quiet manners shout volumes and set the tone for the rest of the class so that teachers can actually teach.
And for the rest of us who find ourselves more outside classrooms than in them, well, even Winston Churchill said, “ Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.”
I guess no one’s going to get that million dollars, are they?
By Robin Elbaz
Robin Elbaz has been an educator for over 30 years in the US and in Israel with an MA in education from Bar Ilan University. She currently teaches at Yavneh Academy and loves teaching middle schoolers. She has also authored two children books, “When my Daddy Snores” and “When 2 Clouds Kiss.” Both are available on Amazon. She can be contacted at [email protected].
