Shemot: 21: 33-35, 23: 9
Once, in the town of Oradell, on a rainy Sunday afternoon, two boys sat down to duel with their Yu-gi-oh cards*. To those of you who are new to 6-year-old boys, Yu-gi-oh cards are playing cards based on some scary Japanese cartoon, where two or more players are locked in mortal combat by turning over cards in some way that I don’t understand at all. That’s all I can tell you. Hashem Yerachem.
Anyway, as I was saying, these two boys, David and Neil, sat down to play with their Yu-gi-oh cards. David was an old pro at the game, and Neil was new to the art form of mass media martial arts, or something like that.
After they played for a few minutes and David massacred Neil with monster cards and spell cards and magic cards, David suggested they make some trades from their decks.
“Sure,” said Neil, “what do you have in mind?”
“How about if I give you my Battle Ox for your Blue Eyes White Dragon?”
“Sounds good to me.”
Just before the trade was made, David and Neil’s good friend Danny came into the room. He was late for the playdate because his mother had to drop his sister across town for a different playdate.
“Hey guys, whatcha doing?” asked Danny.
“Making some Yu-gi-oh trades,” said Neil.
“Let me see,” said Danny.
Danny eyed the cards involved. “Are you crazy?” he asked. “That’s not fair. The Blue Eyes White Dragon has an attack factor of 3000 and a defense factor of 2500, while the Battle Ox has an attack factor of 1700 and a defense of 1000. No way is that a good deal.”
“Sounds fine to me,” said Neil.
“Hey, if it’s OK with Neil, why should it be a problem?” David asked.
“David, didn’t you learn anything from this week’s parsha?” Danny asked. Mishpatim is filled with mitzvot that teach us to be fair to each other.”
“I don’t see one law that applies to playing Yu-gi-oh,” said David.
“Well, there’s the law that if you dig a pit and another man’s ox falls into it that you’re responsible to pay for the ox.”
“So?”
“So that shows that you’re responsible for other people’s animals.”
“Animals aren’t Yu-gi-oh cards.”
“How about the Battle Ox? That’s a Yu-gi-oh card that’s an animal.”
“Nope,” said David. “That doesn’t apply.”
“OK, how about ‘Veger lo tilchatz—you should not oppress a stranger’”?
“So?”
“So Neil is a stranger to Yu-gi-oh, and you can’t take advantage of him.”
“I don’t think that applies here,” said David.
“Listen, all I know is that these laws teach you to deal fairly with others. And five years from now, when no one even knows what a Yu-gi-oh card is, we’ll still be reading Parshat Mishpatim, and learning to be fair.”
“Well,” said David, “I guess I can see your point.”
So instead of trading the Blue Eyes White Dragon for the Battle Ox, Neil and David traded the Rare Metal Dragon for the Armored Lizard, which seemed more reasonable. Then the boys put away their Yu-gi-oh cards and played a game of Monopoly. Neil beat David and Danny with a hotel on Boardwalk and Park Place, but in keeping with the parsha, when all of Danny’s properties were mortgaged, he lost gracefully and no one was sold into slavery.
*Special thanks to Judah Stiefel for explaining to me the finer points of Yu-gi-oh dueling. Now, on to a rudimentary understanding of Heroscape.
Larry Stiefel is a pediatrician at Tenafly Pediatrics.
By Larry Stiefel
