“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt
Who is your worst enemy? Who, in your life, seems to be stopping you from doing what you want to do? You could say a teacher, a boss, a relative, even a friend. But I feel that it’s something different than that.
Let me give two trivial anecdotes. Say I’m interested in meeting up with some friends. (Good thing we’ve got an unlimited texting plan, or else I would’ve really run up the phone bill.) But then I start thinking, maybe people are too busy; maybe they wouldn’t be interested; maybe it’s not a great time right now; maybe they’ve all gone underground to work on the next NASA rocket—something to that effect. And then I get apprehensive about texting them. Is it worth it? How will I feel if it doesn’t work out?
Or say I think of a funny joke to put on Facebook during finals. (The night before our history final I posted, “In Soviet Russia, you do not take history final. History final takes you.” Which is indeed on my final tomorrow, thanks Stalin.) Yet as I start typing it on my phone, I remember how sometimes people have reacted badly to some of my posts; people are busy and won’t see it; people won’t appreciate a Facebook joke; Russia will get so mad that it’ll revert to the Soviet Union. I really don’t know what’ll happen, and it’s not like anyone’s actually done anything yet with the post… But still, I’m nervous to put it up.
This all sounds a bit insecure of me, I’m sure, but it’s how I—and I’m sure I’m not the only one—often feel when it comes to these sort of things. Once again, no one has actually done anything, or said no, or anything like that. I have yet to make the move, and yet I start getting too apprehensive. I’m so afraid of failure that I begin to push myself back. I might not text friends to meet up; I might not put up that Facebook status. And then what do I gain? Nothing.
That’s why my own worst enemy is not a teacher, friend, relative, or boss. I’ve had quite a few of each of those, fortunately, and they’ve been great. No, my own worst enemy is myself, the “inner Oren” that starts to think, and then to think too much. When I overthink things so trivial, I stop myself from making moves that could actually help in the long run. If I send out the text, I’ll get a chance to see some friends! If I put up the funny Facebook status, Jon Stewart will buy it and use it on his show! (I wish. Or at least it could make a few people laugh.)
It’s something to think about: not letting your “logic” control you so much, especially in cases where the worst that could happen is either trivial (people say no, they’re not available) or not (the FBI uses your status against you in court). Sometimes this may be influenced by how you think other people will react—but the key is that it’s not really their fault, it’s how you think they’ll act. You are the one stopping yourself.
As I type this now, I’m sitting on a bus heading into Manhattan for an internship. When I began two days ago, I was understandably nervous. Would I do a good job? Would I be able to take on the responsibility? Would I gradually go insane by being exposed to the modern work world? Hey, look, I’m overthinking it again! This is still something, I admit, I need to work on. But I just have to remember that no matter what I do, I should never stop myself, never push myself back. There is a time and place to think things over and make the right decisions, but at other times, I should just move forward. And then I will have “defeated” my own worst enemy.
Besides, I’m sure (or I hope) Russia doesn’t really care.
Oren Oppenheim, age 16, lives in Fair Lawn, New Jersey and attends Ramaz Upper School in Manhattan. He spends his free time writing and reading, and hopes to become a published novelist. You can email him at [email protected].
By Oren Oppenheim
