Another year. How could it be that we were all just preparing for Pesach and somehow, before we knew it, it was August and we were discussing Yom Tov plans? Advertisers began pushing grape juice and jarred gefilte fish (who still eats that?), and the big sell-out items became yahrzeit candles. They are definitely cheaper by the dozen. What amazes me the most is that Rosh Hashanah is here again. It came so fast in some ways and so slow in others.
People do not seem to discuss new year’s resolutions with regard to Rosh Hashanah as much as they do at the beginning of January. Perhaps that is because for the celebration of January 1st, one hears primarily about their desires to change their weight, be more punctual getting to their job, and going to the gym as frequently as possible. I do not think that I have ever heard one person tell me of their personal wishes for our new year other than peace and good health.
However, isn’t this the time when we are supposed to promise ourselves that we will work harder on specific mitzvot and midot? Shouldn’t it be now that we speak to ourselves about the need to be more kind to our spouses? Shouldn’t it be now that we realize that we should spend more time with our children, and shouldn’t it be now that we pick up the phone and call the brother or sister or cousin that we might have grown up with to either reconnect or apologize for whatever reason that we do not speak with them anymore?
It does not have to be a relative. We all have those who used to be good friends with whom for whatever reason we stopped talking. Now is the time to make a resolution to reconnect or, if nothing else, to know you did what you could. It does not matter how they react. It does not matter what they say, if it is painful. You have done the right thing if you try. As I write this I feel as though my thoughts are coming directly from the mind of my beloved Mordechai. Those would have been his exact words. We are only responsible for the behavior of ourselves. As long as you are positively sure you have done the right thing, you will start the year with a clean slate, a fresh breath of air, and an inner feeling of contentment.
I certainly do not exclude myself from any of the above suggestions. I have many things to work on for the new year. I need to improve myself in many ways that have nothing to do with diet and gym (although that wouldn’t hurt). I am trying to pick myself up from the depths of despair that I feel, realizing how fortunate I am and that what I have experienced in my life with regard to my marriage and relationship with my husband needs to be used to the fullest power in helping others in whatever way that I can.
As I have said many times, it is really easy to be nice and to do chesed, much easier than refusing to get involved in helping others, and my goal for the coming year is to continue to do as much chesed as I can and to continue to work on myself to be a better person. One of the ways I can do that, and I think many others as well, is by being more understanding of people and less critical. It is easy to say that someone does not know what they are doing, instead of trying to figure out what the reason could be for them to manifest the particular behaviors. It is sometimes more difficult to criticize ourselves than it is to notice behaviors in others.
What I wish for this community and for all of the many people who read The Link is that we should be able to continue the many acts of kindness through the many chesed organizations that surround us, but more personally we should each look within ourselves deeply to think about how our behaviors affect others and whether or not they need to be changed. Rosh Hashanah is a personal new beginning, and between now and Yom Kippur we are given the opportunity to seriously consider what we can do to better ourselves in our relationships and communal involvement.
Shana Tova—thank you all for reading my column. It means so much to me.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
