I know the chag is over by the time that The Link is distributed this week but I have had many nights to sit and watch the flames burn. Although one does not have to stay in the room for the entire duration the candles are lit, I did promise my children that I would not leave the room until I was sure that they were out. Admittedly it is weird for me to light the menorah, sing the brachot and then sit alone and watch them. I think that there should be an exemption for some mitzvot in consideration of the pain that they might evoke in reminding a person that no matter what, they are alone.
As I watch them I generally think about the beautiful years of having a young family and the excitement revolving around lighting candles (outside on our front stoop with our Israeli menorah surrounded by feet of snow), singing songs and eating latkes. We usually spent at least a part of Chanukah with my parents in Jericho as our children had at least a few days of vacation during the chag. A bright Chanukah memory was jolted into my mind several days ago when on WINS news they announced that Chabad would be lighting their very large menorah once again at the foot of Central Park across the street from the Plaza Hotel. It brought a huge smile to my face as I remember standing there with our children when both Akiva and Dena, who probably were 10 and 8 years of age, were asked to go up in a cherry picker to light the first candles. I cannot imagine that they will ever forget the thrill of that evening.
Yes, giving gifts was also a part of our festivities although we would pride ourselves on not spending outrageous amounts of money. We knew that our children were always happy to receive what we gave them. It has led me to think about the role that gift giving has taken on today.
I do not believe in giving my children and their children money. I am sure that most are shocked, but, for me, taking the time to find something special for each one—I hope shows them how much I individually care about them. I have spoken with those who give cash to very young children as well. Definitely cash is an easy out but does anyone really believe that a young child would prefer to have a $5 bill or more or a fun game that they knew you took the time to choose for them. At our family Chanukah party yesterday, which I was thrilled to host, I scoured the internet to find things that I thought the children would enjoy. Upon entering our house each one was presented with a pair of Chanukah glasses!! Head bands were also available to anyone that so chose. Really for the little ones nothing else would have been necessary. To watch their enjoyment was such fun. Throughout the year every time that I was in a store and would happen to chance upon something that I thought might be fun for the children, it was purchased and off it went to my Chanukah cache. What can be more fun for little ones than to give them story books with their names as the main character in the book.
All of these things take time and effort to do but I believe are so much more appreciated and memorable than handing over the cash. Honestly, when my children were younger had someone given them cash I think that we would probably have used it the next time that we went to buy groceries or any other expenses since the money remained in our wallets and they totally forgot about it.
As I sat by myself watching the candles I could not help but think about the darkness in tunnels and caves that the hostages have endured for so long. No lights burning—not even the miracle of light. The miracle will be if those who are alive are finally released and get to see the light of day once again. None of us can even fathom the pain and elation that they will feel.
If we really remind ourselves of a nes gadol haya sham let us continually pray that a nes happen before all of our eyes in a very short while. It will be a miracle of miracles!
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
