1) Arrange for a “date” with your spouse. Make all the arrangements before letting him/her know.

2) Get tickets for something your spouse would enjoy—for him/her to go to, with a friend or one of the children.

3) Arrange for a night or two at a hotel—no children allowed!

4) Spend ten minutes each day (make it part of your daily schedule) thinking about (and planning) what you could do that would make your spouse feel good.

5) Go out of your way to do something special for your spouse on a non-occasion.

6) Leave notes expressing your love and appreciation—in your spouse’s lunch box, on his/her pillow before bed, taped to the bathroom mirror, in the suitcase when he/she is going on a trip, etc.

7) Do things for your spouse that they could just as easily do for themselves – bring the paper to their bed when you leave in the morning, put water in the tub for their bath, bring them a drink when they are working (without being asked), pick up the clothes from the cleaners, make them a special breakfast, get up early and take out the kids out so he/she can sleep late, etc.

8) Bring home small gifts—flowers (even one flower), their favourite magazine or candy bar, a danish (unless they are on a diet!), etc.

9) Send your spouse a card in the mail telling them that you love them.

10) Compliment, compliment, compliment!

11) Arrange for a candlelit dinner at home.

12) Remember and ask about things that are important to your spouse.

13) Call your spouse at least once or twice a day (if they would like that) to just say that you’re thinking about them.

14) Avoid doing things that annoy your partner (even if they won’t realize that you are avoiding it!)

Please feel free to contact me regarding this (or any topic) anonymously by writing to [email protected]

Dr. Glick as a clinical psychologist iin private practice for 35 years as well as a Rabbi of Congregation Ahavat Yisroel.  If you would like to submit a question of contact him for an appointment, he can be reached at [email protected] or by calling him at 201 983-1532.

By Rabbi Mordechai Glick