Yesterday I was reminded of something that most of us probably do not give much thought to. I received a notice that an acquaintance from Montreal had passed away. Her name was Elaine Baer, and I met her together with several other lovely chesed-seeking women who thought maybe in Montreal there was a need for a home to bring together foster children. They contacted me, and I immediately explained that the need I saw as most important was a group home for teens and young adults in the Jewish community that could accommodate every Jewish child, including those from the most strictly observant homes. It needed to be as similar to family as it possibly could be. It didn’t take long for them to join together with me and several others to form what today is probably one of the most outstanding group homes in the world: Maison Shalom.

At the time, of the small group of women I was in touch with, none had a child with special needs nor were any of them shomer Shabbat. Over time, after Maison Shalom evolved into what it is today through a tremendous amount of blood, sweat and tears, we lost contact with many of these women. Lo and behold, yesterday I realized how sad it was that I had not been in touch with Elaine for so many years when she and her friends were so instrumental in helping me and others see our dream come true. May her neshama have an aliyah.

I began to think of how many people from the past have had influences or made impressions upon us, and we somehow tend to relegate their names and memories to the backs of our minds.

In a completely different vein, as I was driving today I was listening to a report on the winners of the Emmy awards. I am totally unfamiliar with most programs on TV, but it struck a special chord within me when they announced that a special award was presented to Henry Winkler and Ron Howard on the 50th anniversary of their show “Happy Days.” Some of us might think of that program and smile, but for our family “Happy Days” will always be a force in our memories. Fonzie has always had a special role. Each day when Naama came home from school we would wheel her straight into her bedroom, turn on the TV (the only one in the house was in her room) and turn on “Happy Days.” She and “the Fonz” definitely had a special relationship and all of our children were well versed in the “Happy Days” milieu.

Fonzie was so much a part of Naama’s life that when we made her a bat mitzvah we invited none other than Henry Winkler. He sent back to Naama a huge poster with his picture and a sign stating something like “Mazel Tov Naama. Bat Mitzvahs are cool.” I think that was the best part of her celebration. We as a family will always be grateful to Henry Winkler for providing our daughter and sister some respite from her very sterile life.

There has got to be in each person’s life individuals or acquaintances who equally had a profound effect on them. It could be a family member, a teacher or a person met through other daily occurrences.

Not as significantly in a totally reverse way we can try to remember those who have taught us by their actions to never do some of the things they did. As an example, I had an uncle who upon visiting would always promise me something. Next time he sees me he is going to bring me x or he is going to take me to y. The first two times as a young child you excuse those actions when he doesn’t fulfill his promises, but when the pattern continued as I grew older I realized I could never look at him the same way. As a result today I am very careful not to promise anything to a child that I cannot follow up on.

I remember my Mordechai used to speak of a cousin of his father’s who lived in the Bronx. Every time he would come to Boston he would promise Mordechai he was going to bring him a cocker spaniel. To this day or until my Mordechai passed, each time he would see a cocker spaniel he would remember this cousin and regret that he never fulfilled his promise. (No, I never made the promise so I didn’t have to give him one!)

Strangely, all of these thoughts began to pop up as I was reminded of my acquaintance from Montreal whom I hadn’t seen in many years.

I spent some time thinking if there was anyone in my life who had dramatically changed it and who I never really acknowledged until this moment. I remember Rabbi Paul Hait who was the rabbi at the Flushing Jewish Center in Queens. He encouraged my parents, who were members of his shul, to allow me to attend a Torah leadership seminar under the aegis of Yeshiva University. It took place during the winter break from school, which at the time coincided with the non-Jewish December holiday.

My first seminar (as it became known) was definitely the most life-changing moment that I had ever experienced. I will never forget it nor will I forget Cy Shavrick and Abe Stern of the YU youth department, which was a division of the community service department. I was so young, as were the “advisers” and rabbonim—Steve Riskin at the time, Rabbi Herschel Schacter, Sherwood Goffin, Rabbi Macy Gordon, Meyer Berglass, Rabbi Haskell Lookstein, Rabbi Fabian Schonfeld, many present with their little children running around and others not yet married, as well as tons of others. We were all so young and starry-eyed. It was due to Abe Stern’s leadership and Cy Shavrick’s enthusiasm that this amazing, life-changing event reached teenagers from all over the USA. It literally changed thousands of lives, and we need to remember and be grateful for who they were.

I did have the opportunity to meet Rabbi Hait several years ago, and I think I did express my hakarat hatov to him. We should all take the time to do so if we are able.

My Mordechai, as a result of attending the seminar, became close with Rabbi Herschel Schachter and was fortunate enough to have spent many shabbotim at his home. Importantly, many of my friends today are those I met through seminar, and above all that is where a young man from Malden, Massachusetts met a young woman (kid) from Jericho, Long Island. It all happened there. Boys and girls together in a very healthy setting attending classes together, socializing together and growing up watching the role models who encouraged this behavior and watched it flourish.

Now I think I need to think back, and perhaps you should as well, to make sure I have not overlooked someone in my past who deserves to be thanked for the influence they have had on me. I’ll let you know who I come up with.