I’ve done it many times. I have become accustomed to walking with our grandson Zev along the streets of Teaneck and have watched almost every person who walks along the street coming over to greet Zev. Whether he knows them or not he shouts out to them or them to him. It is remarkable how everyone seems to know him. No joke, I can guarantee that if he were to run for office in Teaneck it would be a shoo-in: Zev Kinderlehrer as the mayor of Teaneck. (Don’t worry Mark, he’s not running) How does it happen that an autistic young man has the ability to bring so many people together in acts of friendship and kindness?
Today I had the pleasure of watching Zev’s “big” brother Eyal (only in size) once again fly across the court at the YU Sarachek tournament and help bring another victory to the TABC Storm. One game to go and we will find out who the champions are. (I have told Eyal innumerable times that whether he gets a basket or not he is my champion.) I have never seen Zev as excited as when the Storm won today. He literally stood up and was jumping up and down repeatedly. I do not think that it was only the win that caused him so much joy. In my mind it had to be the myriad people who passed him sitting in the stands and stopped to see him and greet him. I am sure that some did not know him, especially when he asked them many times, “Where are you from?”
From either team, from across the court, so many came to high-five with Zev and say hello. He knows more people than any of us will ever know. One could ask themselves, how is that possible? I give full credit to organizations such as Yachad, Friendship Circle and of course and especially Camp HASC. Our world has become enriched by these organizations and our young people have spent years educating their parents, families and even teachers to be more sensitive to the special needs community. There were definitely years where clergy in our communities did not know how to welcome such diverse people. I think that they were in many cases nervous about their own interactions with the special needs community. Thanks to all of the above there is no longer an excuse for anyone to feel uncomfortable surrounded by these very special souls.
As I watched the interactions going on (Zev sat next to me) I was most emotionally moved by a man who came by who I knew was involved with the group from YULA High School. (He wore their T-shirt above his own clothes.) I also knew that he had an administrative position as I watched his interaction with many students and adults. Zev called out to him and instead of saying hi and walking by him he stopped, shook hands with him and had a brief chat with him. Zev immediately realized and acknowledged that he was from the “other side” (TABC’s opponent). The man left and within two minutes apologized to Zev that he did not have an extra YULA T-shirt for him, which apparently Zev had requested, but instead brought him a YULA kippah. He then took the time to help Zev take off his baseball cap and yarmulka and showed him the clip that he could use to put on his new YULA kippah. I was blown away by this chesed. I immediately turned around to some girls sitting behind me who I knew were from Los Angeles and asked who that man was. “Oh,” they said, “that is Rabbi Arye Sufrin, head of school at YULA.”
I have spent many years parenting a special needs child but as I more and more frequently experience these acts of chesed, really acts of chesed shel emet, I cannot find enough words to convey my gratitude to the world and the organizations mentioned for what they have done to create such a different and more accepting world. I give special credit to the teens who have taught their parents and grandparents to be more open and accepting. On days like today even I need to be reminded every once in a while about the amazing miracle of acceptance and inclusion that is happening.
I am honored to be living at a time to see these miracles. Thank you to everyone for being a participant.
