The Jewish Link recently had the opportunity to meet with Dr. Alex Bailey, a licensed clinical and school psychologist providing in-person therapy and teletherapy for teenagers, young adults. adults and couples. He also specializes in providing ongoing support to young adults in Israel for their gap year in Israel.

Welcome, Dr. Bailey. As it’s the month of Elul, which focuses on deepening our relationships with Hashem and our loved ones, I thought who better to speak with than someone whose life’s work is about strengthening relationships both personal and interpersonal.

Can you tell us a bit about yourself? Where did you grow up and go to school?

I grew up in sunny Los Angeles. After a year studying in Israel, I moved to New York for college, first at Yeshiva College and then at Yeshiva University’s Ferkauf Graduate School of Psychology, where I earned a doctorate in school and child clinical psychology.

Did you always want to work in mental health? When did you decide that psychotherapy was your calling?

My dad is a psychologist — a teacher, clinician and researcher. In ninth or 10th grade, I took one of his textbooks off the shelf and was completely fascinated. Since then, psychology has been not just an area of interest but a real passion.

You made aliyah from Cleveland, and before that, you lived in Teaneck. What prompted you to make aliyah with your young family, and how has that decision impacted you?

My wife, Yael, and I both grew up in Zionist homes. Yael lived in Israel from ages 3-7, and I was involved in Bnei Akiva and sang Naomi Shemer songs at the Shabbat table. We always knew we’d make aliyah. After four years working in Cleveland as assistant principal for student services at a Modern Orthodox day school, the opportunity arose. By then, my parents and siblings were living in Israel, eagerly awaiting our arrival.

While our kids weren’t fully surprised, as we’d talked about it since they were born, they were understandably nervous about the adjustment. Thank God, in the six years we’ve lived here, they’ve each told us that we made the right move.

Can you describe the demographics you worked with in the U.S. and now in Israel, and the different areas you specialize in?

My initial training is in school psychology and child and adolescent clinical psychology. In Teaneck, I worked as a guidance counselor and taught AP Psychology while maintaining a private practice focused on teenagers and young adults. During that time, I began lecturing through the OU on various topics from parenting and education to family dynamics, and eventually marriage and relationships. Speaking on marriage opened a new area for me, so I pursued further training and expanded my practice to include couples counseling.

I know that a significant part of your practice involves yeshiva and seminary gap year students. Can you give an idea of some of the issues or concerns that students are coming to you for help with?

When I arrived in Israel, working with gap year students was a natural fit. Since 2018, I’ve developed relationships with many different programs and a large part of my practice involves working with many gap year young men and women.

Despite varied backgrounds, many students grapple with similar questions: “What are my values and priorities?” “How am I similar or different from my family?” “What do I hope to gain from this year?” “What kind of Jew do I want to be?” They’re trying to integrate various parts of their lives into a whole, which is healthy but can lead to anxiety if unaddressed. I credit gap year programs that encourage these questions and recognize when students might need help sorting through the information they receive.

One of your passion projects is working with engaged couples. What led you to create your “Marriage Workshop?”

This idea developed from my work with the OU when I spoke at their biannual Marriage Enrichment Retreat. Couples attending ranged from six months to 60 years of marriage. As they asked questions, I realized there was a gap in “marriage education,” particularly around communication skills and preparation for marriage expectations. So, I developed a workshop — the “psychology version” of the chatan and kallah classes many young couples take. We focus on healthy communication around fundamental aspects of marriage such as intimacy and managing competing needs. It’s been well-received, with great feedback and referrals.

Let’s take a step back. Can you walk us through your marriage workshop? How is it structured and who is it intended for?

The marriage workshop centers on communication and expectations within marriage. I typically meet with engaged couples four times in the six to eight weeks before their wedding. We cover topics like conflict resolution, compromise, dealing with each other’s families, finances and intimacy. While I have a basic outline, each session is tailored to the couple’s specific questions and concerns.

If you had to choose one thing, what do you hope couples take away from your workshop?

My primary goal is to destigmatize couples counseling. It shouldn’t be seen as a sign of crisis but as a routine check-up — like a yearly physical. This approach helps couples catch small issues before they become big problems. After the four sessions, I offer a free meeting any time in the first year of marriage as a check-in. The workshop has become one of my favorite parts of my practice, and I’ve promoted it as a meaningful wedding gift from parents to their children.

Can you share an anonymous example of how the workshop has helped couples in their first year?

Rather than sharing one example, I’ll highlight patterns I’ve observed. The most common question is, “Is this normal?” Whether about intimacy, in-laws or disagreements, I reassure them that these are common challenges — even in healthy marriages. I provide concrete, practical tips for handling them. I know it’s effective when they refer friends and come in for their “Year One Check-In,” applying what we’ve discussed. One couple even hung the summary sheet I prepared on their fridge as a reminder.

Given the challenging times we are living in, both in Israel and in Jewish communities around the world, what piece of advice can you offer readers dealing with stress and anxiety from current events?

Sadly, we are living through one of the most universally anxious periods of time in recent history and there is literally no escape from it as we live in such a media-connected age, and also, the pressures and events are happening all around us in real time.

If I had to suggest one actionable step, it would be to prioritize self-care. Recognize that you’re not alone in feeling anxious. Everyone — adults, children, teens, parents, grandparents, teachers or students — is experiencing stress in some way. Find time to give yourself a break, whether it’s reading, exercising, socializing or enjoying a relaxing cup of coffee. Allow yourself and those you care about to engage in activities that calm and center you, connecting to the positive amid the stress.

Dr. Alex Bailey can be reached at www.alexbaileypsyd.com and [email protected]

Esti Rosen Snukal made aliyah in 2012 from Teaneck She lives in Chashmonaim and can be found walking her dog Ruby and listening to Idan Amedi.