I was so relieved when I heard the heartwarming news that President Biden had pardoned Peach and Blossom on the lawn of the White House in front of 2,500 people so they could be sent back to their turkey home where rumor has it turkeys enjoy classical music and soft lights. I am not actually sure this means the Biden family will not indulge in the typical fare of turkey with stuffing, etc, but it looks good for fans of PETA and other such groups. Apparently this ridiculousness began in the days of the Kennedy White House.
It is interesting how much emphasis is put on the actual Thanksgiving meal itself. Certainly not much different from the emphasis we Jews put into planning every meal for a Yom Tov and Shabbat. To me the greatest advantage of Thanksgiving here in the USA is that it is a day when no one has to worry about restrictions. Similar to Purim, one can come for a seuda and drive home following it. Not as many concerns about people sleeping over and finding room for everyone as any Shabbat and chag usually entails.
Aside from the feast, I wonder how many really think about how grateful they should be and perhaps we do need a special day to remember all we are blessed with. Waking up in the morning is natural, and only those who have lost someone who one day just didn’t wake up might have reason to think about it. How many get out of bed grumpy before the day even begins? Same old day after day. In younger families getting the kids up, giving them breakfast, making sure they have their school paraphernalia, begging them to wear the correct shoe on each foot, etc. It can be a real pain. Guess who wishes they had that pain? The couples who are begging to get pregnant. So annoying to have a job where one feels underpaid, overworked and not appreciated? Look around at the people in the community who do not have a job. Ladies thinking it is time to get a new sheitel because what used to be in is no longer and their mesh top needs to be a lace top and their kippah fall does not work as well as a hat fall? There are actually those who cannot afford a wig and are wearing the same one they got five years ago, and only have that one. One might not think so in this community but I can promise that there are.
Many of us are busy making sure that when our children return home from school they have enough after school activities to fill their time. Guess what? There are those who cannot afford that. There are those who do not run into Grand and Essex to buy supper but instead make a healthy meal of scrambled eggs and pasta because that is what they can afford. I walk by the take out food department in G and E and cannot fathom how much money people spend on take out food. I never bought and still do not buy prepared food. A friend suggested to me years ago that the pepper steak at Kosher Quality Bakery in Montreal was “to die for.” Eager to treat my family to the pepper steak, I went to the store and $75 later, for one item for a family of seven, I realized why I do not indulge in such luxury nor do I have a desire to.
As my kids might say, “Ma, that was a long time ago.” True, today that pepper steak would probably be $125 for a family of seven and that is just one item.
I am not going to touch on those who are going to Panama or Bahia Mar for winter break, or really need a van with more seats or a better sound system. Whatever I mention, I can promise every single reader there are people in the readership of The Link who cannot afford nor do they feel the need for all of these extras.
The pressure is great and our children are being exposed to so much which they begin to feel is normal. This is what I think the purpose of Thanksgiving should be. It should be a day where we can sit back with our families and discuss how fortunate and lucky we are to live in a community where we can walk to shul (right now) and feel safe, where we can discuss our good fortune in being healthy and also remembering those who are not (perhaps with a tefillah for them), where we can talk about the gift of having brothers and sisters as playmates, confidantes, partners in crime, as well as families nearby who love and care about us, and to explain that some do not. Husbands and wives should have a private discussion on that day expressing their gratitude in being one unit, each appreciating the ups and downs of their life together and how they have learned to weather so much and depend upon each other. Unfortunately, not everyone feels that way, so celebrate it if you do. Treat Thanksgiving as a day not for the gastronome but for our hearts to share our gratefulness. Relish the next day in which many do not work and spend time doing the things that each would like the other to help with or do things with your children that you rarely have time for. Take the day to put away your phones and concentrate only on those around you. From experience I know how complicated that becomes, but pretend that Thanksgiving and/or the day following is Shabbat!
We all have so much to give thanks for with or without devouring Tom Turkey. Spread the word to those you love and let them know.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected]
