Now that round one Yom Tov has ended, we can sit back and marvel at all the work that has gone into making the three-dayer a success. For those of you who have domestic help, lucky you. For those of you who have great spouses who help, even luckier. For those of you who have neither, maybe this will motivate your spouse to either get you some help or step up to the plate.
As I worked over Yom Tov, I couldn’t believe all the things that I had to do not only pre-Yom Tov, during Yom Tov, and post-Yom Tov that most secular people have never done. Truth be told, I am getting older and don’t have the energy level that I used to but still, there is an awful lot that goes into this. Although I have been married over 35 years, it is mind boggling that this is a part of our lives and we wouldn’t trade it for anything. Yet, the average Joe wouldn’t think of doing half of what we do to prep for a Yom Tov. I think that we are cut out of a different cloth (hence the term chosen people) because people that I have worked with over the years in the “real world” lament so about preparing for Thanksgiving that I cannot fathom those people doing what we do and that our families may take for granted. I often wonder if Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray could handle what we do sans their staff of people who help them!!! It’s not just only the cooking that we have to deal with, it’s so much more.
So, let’s see. Where do we begin? Once we decided who is coming for Yom Tov, then it’s time that we got the ball rolling. If your company is sleep-over company, then you can add make up the beds to the list, and sometimes there are lots of beds to make up! Most of us made up our menu; made up an ingredient list; went to the store (or maybe three or four different stores); shopped for the ingredients; brought the bags to the car; unloaded the bags when you got home; pulled out the recipes; and cooked–which probably took many, many hours. I don’t think people realize how much time each dish takes to prepare and if you sat and calculated it, you may never cook again!
Okay there are many add-ons that we don’t even realize take up so much time as well: wash the lettuces and other fruits that may need careful inspecting; rip your foil and paper towels in advance; mark each dish carefully so that you know what is what when you go to search for it in the refrigerator; set up your crockpot for Shabbos should you choose to make a cholent on Friday; set up your hot water urn; make and prepare the Simonyim; wash, dry and put away each dish that you use for prepping the food; store the food (either in the refrigerator or freezer depending on time of preparation); wash the floor after rounds of cooking. If you do this sequence in stages, then you may repeat all or some of the above over a course of several days.
On Yom Tov morning before leaving for shul, make sure all your food is in order and warming up in the proper way so you don’t have to stress about it while you are davening, and set the table if you didn’t do it the night before which some people do just to whittle down the list of things to do in the morning. Come home from shul, and change your clothes if you are lucky to have the time because usually the troops are starving. Then it’s time to bring out all the food from the refrigerator and/or warming places; serve the food; clear the table; wash the dishes after the meal; wash the pots and/or pans used; clean off the table bringing all the leftover food back to the kitchen; and then sweep the floors that everyone messed up. You then have to put away a certain percentage of the food that you worked so hard on that may or may not have been eaten and find more refrigerator space yet again.
Now it’s time to reset the table for the next meal unless of course the family decides to use that table to play a board game or something else. Hmm, all this times about six. And if you have small children who eat before, then you are doing this more times. If you are lucky enough to be a grandparent and have your grandchildren over for the holiday, don’t forget the part about being an activities director. You have to know where the toys are; where the games are kept, and make certain you have enough to do (after all we are talking about a long three-dayer).
Not done yet! After Yom Tov is over, then it’s time to organize all the food that was left over and decide what to do with it: save it; freeze it; give it away; send it to the kids; or give it to someone who would really appreciate it because chances are you don’t want to look at it again!!! Then it’s time to strip the beds, do all the laundry of the bedding from your guests, and wash all the towels that were used in the kitchen and bathrooms. Certainly the kitchen is still in a bad state so more dishes need to be washed. Chances are you have to vacuum the whole house, wash the floors because after a three-dayer there is no way anyone has clean floors anymore.
Most of us are very glad to have the ability to do this for our friends and families but I think you get my point. I also neglected to mention that those of us who work outside the home have to deal with all the prep post-work hours when you come home quite exhausted from your day. Those of you who have young children and don’t have parents to go to or who help you out, I give you so much credit. Kol Hakovod to all of you. To those who work full time and have small children, double Kol Hakovod to you. This is a mighty task. Don’t take the women (or men) of the house for granted when it comes to Yom Tov prep. There is so much that goes into it that you may just expect it to happen for you, but in reality what goes on behind the scenes is far greater than you can ever imagine.
Good luck preparing for Sukkoth. It should be with good health and happiness that you prepare for your loved ones.
Gail Hochman has been a resident of Bergen County for over 30 years and has been blessed with many grandchildren.
By Gail Hochman
