I was recently approached by a friend who had been a baal teshuva (a non-practicing Jew, now an observer) for the past 16 years. He is now entertaining doubts about his decision because he cannot be perfect in his ways. He simply cannot learn Torah every day, for example. He had no yeshiva background. Furthermore, the drashas he typically heard in shul were often composed of technicalities in Jewish law with the suggestion that if one did not fulfill every nuance of halacha their efforts were for naught. “Let’s face it,” he told me. “I will never get it entirely right. I might as well give up. What does God expect of me?”
Apparently, that question is a very common one. So common, in fact, that Moshe had to address it in Parshat Ekev. “What does Hashem want of you? Simply to fear Him, walk in His ways, to love Him and serve him with all of your heart” (10:12).
Rabbi Avigdor Miller, zt”l, once explained to me that the word “yirah,” commonly translated as “fearing” God, has its root in the word “re’eh, meaning “see.” (The first word in next week’s parsha, in fact.) How do we best fulfill the requirement of “yirat Hashem,” he asked. By seeing Hashem’s handiwork all around us. When we look at the world around us, the stars and the moon above, and the way nature works here on Earth, we cannot help but see God’s handiwork and be amazed and thankful.
The Gemara (Menachot 43b) relates that we should read the “mah” in the above verse as “me-ah,” meaning one hundred. It is suggested that we best demonstrate yirat Hashem by reciting 100 blessings a day. Doing so constantly reminds us not to take anything for granted. We need to strive to see God’s constant involvement in our lives. As a result, we will have no choice but to behave morally and ethically, knowing that Someone is watching.
In Gemara Shabbos (31a) we read a story of a gentile who approaches Hillel. He challenged him by saying, “If you can teach me all of the Torah while I stand on one foot, I will convert right here and now.” Hillel doesn’t blink or miss a beat. He immediately answers, “What is hateful to you, do not do unto your neighbor. This is the whole Torah. Everything else is commentary. Now go and study!”
Rabbi Telushkin in his book titled “Code of Jewish Ethics” points out that despite the lessons regarding behaving morally and ethically that are replete throughout the Tanach and the Talmud, when the average person considers what makes a person “religious” we often think that it has to do with how many rituals or mitzvot he/she follows. Does he buy the best-looking etrog? Does he wear a big black hat with a wide brim? Does he drink only chalav Yisrael milk? How has this evolved? Why has observing rituals become seemingly more important than emphasizing morals and ethics?
So what are some of the codes of ethics and morality that Judaism promotes? What matters most to God when considering whether a person is truly religious? Here are some suggested answers: Developing kindness, knowing ourselves and guarding against our weaknesses, judging fairly, being a grateful person, having good manners, being cheerful, being considerate, repenting when we have done wrong, forgiving ourselves and others, cultivating humility, avoiding arrogance, controlling our anger, not humiliating others, reducing envy, avoiding hatred, avoiding gossip, being truthful, being honest, being charitable, loving and respecting our family and friends, and loving and fearing God.
The danger exists when the opposite occurs and some religious authorities emphasize mitzvot and ritual to the exclusion of ethical, moral behavior. We then end up with so-called religious-looking people who commit crimes, cheat, steal and do worse. I am appalled that there are so many Orthodox Jews who have committed white collar crimes that the Federal Bureau of Prisons has set up a special correctional facility for them in Otisville, New York. They get served glatt kosher meals, have several minyanim a day and conduct Daf Yomi classes. I would bet that many of these inmates consider themselves to be very “religious.” Are they?
When all is said and done, we need to follow Moshe’s dictate. We need to see Hashem’s providence and involvement in our lives. We need to be inspired and appreciate our experiences, blessing God throughout the day. Finally, we need to live moral and ethical lives, setting a good example like Avraham Avinu for whom Hashem said “You shall be a blessing yourself” (Bereishit 12:2), meaning that he will inspire others by his behavior. Hopefully, this advice will help my friend stay on the proper “derech,” the path of the righteous.
By Rabbi Dr. Avi Kuperberg
Rabbi Dr. Avi Kuperberg is a forensic, clinical psychologist in private practice. He is president of the Chai Riders Motorcycle Club of NY/NJ. He leads the Summit Avenue Shabbos Gemara shiur and minyan in Fair Lawn, NJ, and is a member of the International Rabbinical Society. He can be reached at [email protected].
