If you walk through the streets of Jerusalem in the morning, you will see men beckoning from the thresholds of the shuls.
“Bo,” they say, gesturing with their hands toward the interior of the beit midrash. “Come! We need a minyan.”
Parsha Vayeira tells us that it takes ten righteous people to spare Sodom and Gomorrah from destruction. Perhaps, the rabbis teach us, if Noah’s family had been ten instead of eight, the whole world would have survived.
Inside each of us is a world.
We are filled with concern and care for the people in our lives. Will Mom triumph over her second bout of breast cancer? Will my husband find a way to actually enjoy retirement? Will my son finally marry the woman he’s been dating for years?
Our inner world also comprises the past. Why was Dad so rejecting? What if I had stayed in medical school instead of becoming a nurse? Why is my childhood friend visiting in my dreams?
Our world is who we are. It’s how we speak to the people we love, how we negotiate conflict, what we strive for, as well as our anxieties, fears and inhibitions. It’s our bad habits, our negative thinking and the ways we avoid responsibility and sabotage relationships.
Perhaps you’ve worked with a therapist for years trying to change some aspect of your world, but it’s not enough.
Attending group therapy is like praying with a minyan instead of davening alone.
In group therapy, you are invited to say anything. You talk about your problems and discover that others can relate. They share their honest reactions. Some of this you’ve heard before; it’s the same old advice.
But then someone says something new, about how you’re coming across, what it feels like listening to you.
You’re struck. Was this why your first marriage ended? Is this why your wife is so resentful? Is this why your kids ignore you? Have you been your own worst enemy in relationships, at work, with your family and friends without realizing it?
In group therapy, you will hear what everyone in your life thinks about you but never says. And you will give such feedback to others. In doing so, you will become more courageous, confident, assertive, vulnerable, intimate, creative and resilient. You’ll discover new ways of being that directly translate to your most important relationships.
At Group Therapy NJ, we run weekly virtual 90-minute groups for adults of all ages. We also offer individual, couples and family therapy in English and Hebrew.
Jacob Winkler, LCSW (licensed in New Jersey, New York and Texas) is a psychotherapist at Group Therapy NJ. He received his training from the Rutgers School of Social Work, the Carl Jung Institute of NYC, and The Center for Group Studies. He is passionate about running ongoing groups and time-limited workshops, as well as providing highly engaging and experiential continuing education courses for professionals.
His approach emphasizes a unique combination of spirituality, honesty and humor. An understanding of clients’ relationship patterns, the expansion of emotional range and the development of self-awareness are vital to his work.
Jacob and his wife, Kate, live in Highland Park with their four children. To start working with Jacob, call 804.404.5679 or email [email protected].
