Everyone talks about it, and I have written about it in the past. The problem just seems to be getting worse despite so many complaining. The sound level at smachot is so out-of-control that hosts are actually offering packages of ear plugs to their guests on the same table where they get their place cards.
It has been explained to me by a great friend who is a well respected bandleader and musician. People are paying for the “young people” to enjoy the event, and they want loud, blasting music. It does not matter if it is a band, orchestra or DJ. Even more ridiculous is that if you look at the musicians they are across the board wearing major ear plugs to assure that they will not suffer from the hearing loss that anyone who is not wearing them will tend to suffer from.
One would think that if a “baal simcha” is aware of the deafening sound they would make it clear to the band or orchestra or disc jockey that they want them to tone down the sound. Kudos to wedding halls that have begun to place comfy chairs in various groupings outside of the actual wedding hall for those who cannot tolerate the blasting sound. Comically, many of those seats are full as soon as the noise begins and become vacant again when the food is served.
Recently I realized though that the noise level of our community is not just ridiculous at smachot. Yesterday I visited a restaurant (coffee shop) with my son in Brooklyn. (I know it’s Brooklyn but the problem is not only there.) The noise level was out of control. Are people not able to speak with each other without screaming? Do they scream inside their own homes? One thing I noted was that at least they did not have music blasting in the background.
In our very own backyard, the music blasting from speakers in the majority of local restaurants is so loud that one does not stand a chance of hearing the person they are sitting with unless they are literally sitting on each other’s laps. I just do not understand why it is necessary to blast the sound.
Don’t you love while eating in a restaurant that people sitting at a table not far from yours speak loudly enough that you can hear their entire conversation? Intimacy, speaking in a softer tone, would make me want to bond with the person I am with so much more than having them relate to me in a tone of voice that is meant for all to hear.
Even more “enjoyable” is when a person’s phone conversation becomes public. They literally talk loud enough for anyone sitting within 10 feet in either direction to hear. Sometimes I am tempted to interrupt the conversation and give my own 2 cents on whatever they are discussing.
We should all be empowered to request that whoever is behind the counter in a restaurant where the music is uncomfortably loud should please turn it down. I have been with groups that have done that. What I find is that most are accommodating and then within about another half hour the music goes up again. One of the reasons that I find it relaxing to shop at some kosher supermarkets is that they play Jewish background music. It puts me into a good mood and I find myself humming along as I walk up and down the aisles. It is at exactly the right decibel and one can still hear themselves think.
As winter approaches and more and more of us will be eating inside instead of at outdoor tables, I hope that we can learn to keep our voices down and that the restaurants will learn to turn down their sound systems. If we each remind them when it becomes annoying they might get the hint.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
