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September 18, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Mordechai Schmutter

Mordechai Schmutter is a freelance writer and a humor columnist for Hamodia and other magazines. He has also published seven books and does stand-up comedy. You can contact him at [email protected].

Articles by Mordechai Schmutter

Be Patient Already

We live in a very impatient society. Even though they say that patience is a virtue. “Hey, why is patience a virtue? Why isn’t hurrying

Get Out

Pesach is over, and it’s time to start getting your kids back out to school. Or they can get themselves out. They should know how

Pre-Pesach Panic

Everyone always wants advice before Pesach. Something about the holiday makes people want to send each other questions. Dear Mordechai, What’s wrong with my vacuum

Up a Wall

For some reason, every time I write an article about annoying expressions, a lot of people write in. Which I guess means that this is

Haman Haman Haman

They say that part of what keeps Yiddishkeit going for all these generations is that every social deviant has some kind of release. Think about

Fair Grade

Every year, my kids’ teachers assign some kind of fair at school, wherein the parents do a report and then they have to come in

Slightly Discomfortable

A lot of people might not know this, but it’s important to go to the doctor once in a while. Even when you’re healthy. Seriously.

Inside the Siding

  You can’t tell from the fact that I’m writing this article, but I hate that the whole world has to know that we’re redoing

Plenty of Excuses

A few months ago, my wife sent me to a one-time free exercise class on the other side of town, across from Home Depot. The

I’m Obviously Chicken

We always say that bigger is better. But if bigger is better, why not make ourselves smaller? Then everything else would be bigger relative to

Whatsisname’s Yarmulka

Today’s topic is: Name yarmulkas—good idea or bad idea? To be honest, it’s a weird idea. My kids aren’t allowed to come to yeshiva wearing