When I was a young child my parents taught me that every night before falling asleep I should say the following: “Dear God, please take care of my mother, my father and my brother, all of my aunts and uncles, my grandmas and myself.” Then I would say the Shema. For many, many years I would recite this each night. I was afraid that if I forgot, something might happen to someone for whom I was praying.
Over the years I have had many conversations with God. In fact, I pleaded with Him many times when we faced major illnesses in our family and I am sure that I had much more mundane discussions with Him over the years as well.
At this point in our lives I am at a loss at what I should be saying to him. What would I say? Please, please Hashem, explain to me what is going on in the world. I know that you have spared us (the two of us) from the worst effects of the virus, but are we really getting better? Today the director of the World Health Organization said that the worst is yet to come. What is this? How are we supposed to feel when it is announced, repeatedly, that as patients in distress are admitted to the hospital, emergency room preferences would be given to younger people when it comes to allocating life-saving equipment. In reality, I understand this, but it frightens me terribly.
There is no question that we would prefer something happening to us than our children. Yet I still cannot really understand where we are headed. I wake each day and am grateful for opening my eyes, and then I realize that I am facing another day of uncertainty. When I hear people chuckling that one day their grandchildren will ask them if this really happened, I flinch and realize that we are living through this together with our grandchildren. We did not attend their recent semachot. We do not see them if they are not local and we worry for their health each day. Anyone who thinks that this cannot strike their family is making a huge mistake.
Today I social-distanced with my good friend Rachelle Turetsky outside on the front lawn. She is sitting shiva for her beloved husband, Arthur. Bizarrely, we all wore our masks and gloves. Dr Arthur Turetsky was part of the New Rochelle community. It was public knowledge that he was a talmid chacham attending Daf Yomi each day and was rarely seen without a sefer in hand. He was a talented baal tefilla and was respected far and wide within and without the community. He was a beloved physician who knew all of the right things to do, yet it did not stop him from being infected from somewhere. Many of you know their wonderful sons, who may have been the rabbanim of your children at Shaalvim.
Here is Rachelle, sitting shiva alone. Her two sons are in Israel and actually began sitting shiva on Friday, prior to their mother and older brother, who began sitting shiva after the levaya on Sunday. The funeral director told them that he is backed up with funerals until Thursday. This was said only on Sunday.
Anyone who thinks that they are immune from this horrible plague should really rethink their views. This virus knows no bounds. It has taken my husband’s memory loss to a new low. Supposedly the virus does this to people and it will be returning over time. How much pain are families supposed to deal with, God? Yes, there are nissim and we are grateful for all of them. How beautiful to be able to see the video of Michael Goldsmith returning home! You could not see it without having goose bumps and being thrilled for him and his family.
At the same time, God, we experienced a different sort of miracle one day last week. Another former Montrealer called us from his jogging route and told us that he was in front of our house. As I opened the door, there was Etzie Neuer in his jogging regalia, earbuds and all. It was just one day after Pesach and he told us that he had not had the opportunity to “duchen” as a Kohen on Pesach and decided instead that he would like to give us both a bracha. Right there on New Bridge Road, Etzie put out his arms and gave us a bracha. It was hard for me to hold back tears.
It is actions such as these that show me that there is hope for the future. The goodness in people and the overwhelming chesed that is being done these days will have to sustain us in the belief that Hashem has a plan. Honestly, though, as a person who has lived through many years and challenges, I find this one hard to understand. I guess we are just not meant to. I am just asking for the strength to keep going until we can all celebrate life together again.
By Nina Glick
