Editor’s note: Each year, the fifth grade girls in Mrs. Chana Greenberg’s class at RYNJ publish The Shushan Link, a newspaper created as a project-based learning project. It is written as though in the time of ancient Persia. Each year, The Jewish Link is proud to help train the reporters and prints one of the best submissions. Mazel tov to all the students for their hard work.

NISSAN, IN THE TIME OF HIS MAJESTY, KING ACHASHVEROSH, AND HER ROYAL HIGHNESS, QUEEN ESTHER—From what we can make out from all the frantic and excited gestures and reports, it seems that unbeknownst to the newly deceased Haman, the queen is a Jew. On the advice of her uncle and caretaker, Mordechai, Queen Esther concealed the fact she is a Jew for the duration of her numerous years of marriage with King Achashverosh. Still wary from his rather nasty encounter with his servants, Bigtan and Teresh, years ago (check previous copies of The Shushan Link), the king’s knot of suspicion grew larger and larger until it was more of an enormous and elaborate twine ball that you might produce in a rope-tangling-up class that lay in the king’s stomach, filling him with worry, dread and suspicion.

It continued to grow as the king watched his adviser’s power manifest and grow, even making the power-hungry adviser tell King Achashverosh that a person, whom he thought to be himself, should wear the king’s garments and crown and ride the king’s horse, which was to be led by the king’s officers. The only thing that did for Haman was that he “got to” (was forced to) lead his arch nemesis around the city (who was wearing the royal garments and crown and was on the king’s horse), proclaiming that this is what is done to the man whom the king wishes to honor.

So when his wife told him that Haman was threatening her and her nation, it’s no wonder that the king had to go outside and watch the petunias swaying in the breeze to semi-calm his M.A.D.-award-winning, turbulent and intense anger and hate. He then went back inside to decree the hanging of Haman, using the very gallows that Haman had intended for Mordechai, who had saved the king, Achashverosh, from the poison (literally) of Bigtan and Teresh. Dwelling upon the last sentence, the fact that King Achashverosh heard at that particular moment (from the servant, Charvona) that Haman wanted to murder his savior, probably did Haman no favor.

Since Haman sealed his violent and gory decree with the official seal of the king, Queen Esther is unable to repeal the decree. The king therefore authorizes a new decree, which states that while the Jews were completely vulnerable with Haman’s original decree, they may now retaliate. As a result, 500 are now dead.

As I conclude this rather morbid article, I would just like to ask the bloodthirsty readers who actually enjoy reading this article of The Shushan Link not to be disappointed by the briefness of this edition, but to wait with rapture and excitement for the last few editions of next Adar. There will be a pretty long obituary article then.

By Sara Kahan