Dear Shayna B.,

My school snacks are so embarrassing. My parents only buy healthy food because they say it’s “good for me.” Yuck! I’m done with celery. What can I do to get my parents to buy snacks kids want?

Dear Rice Cake Roni,

Maybe tell your parents they’re killing you with their healthy food choices–socially. It’s possible they don’t realize that they’re so embarrassing. It seems most parents don’t.

If the only reason they buy … fiber is so you can snack on it and be healthy, tell your parents you won’t snack on it any more, and you’re boycotting all food groups except sugar (is that a food group?) and processed foods until your parents give in to your sweet (and very reasonable) demands. If this doesn’t work (and I’m not completely confident that it will), find a kid whose family buys only junk food and try to trade some fruits or vegetables with him. It’s a win-win. There must be some kid out there who likes spinach.

But, I have a question. What’s really wrong with whole wheat zero sugar rye bread, after all? My grandmother loves it.