I remember clearly the morning my phone stopped working. A massive AT&T outage disrupted service nationwide, cutting off millions from their cell phones and internet access. For me, it hit hardest during my morning commute—without service, I could not access Google Maps to get around rush hour traffic on my way to work. I was frustrated, disoriented, and a little stuck during my morning commute. It was a stark wake-up call: My phone was not just a convenient tool, but a crutch I had come to depend on.
Technology is an incredible resource that has transformed the way we live. It connects us to the world and enhances our lives in countless ways. At the same time, it is important to acknowledge its downsides. It can connect us to everyone else while leaving us disconnected from ourselves. How many of us, adults and teens alike, rush to check our phones when Shabbat ends or instinctively reach for a device in a quiet or awkward moment? I know I do—and it’s a habit I’ve tried to be more mindful of. This dependence can blur the line between using technology and being consumed by it.
These challenges are even more pronounced for teens who have grown up in a world where technology and smart devices are simply part of everyday life. For middle and high schoolers, social media, gaming and constant connectivity have shaped their experiences in ways we could never have imagined when we were their age. As parents, understanding the mental health impacts of technology and cultivating open communication is essential to helping our children navigate these challenges.
A Mental Health Lens on Technology
Excessive social media use does not just pass the time—it can actively harm mental health. Platforms are designed to keep users engaged, flooding the brain’s reward system with dopamine every time we see a like, comment or new post. This constant stimulation is draining, leaving us restless and emotionally empty. Many of us recognize the “yuck” feeling after hours of scrolling, where instead of feeling connected or entertained, we are left anxious or unfulfilled. For teens, the impact is even greater. Comparing their lives to the carefully curated posts of others can deepen feelings of inadequacy, isolation, and stress. Recognizing this cycle is the first step toward breaking it and finding healthier ways to engage.
The risks go beyond emotional exhaustion. Apps like WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram and TikTok can expose individuals to cyberbullying, peer pressure and harmful content. Viral challenges on TikTok can normalize dangerous behavior, while group chats can escalate into toxic interactions. Fake profiles and online predators add another layer of danger, exploiting the anonymity of the digital world. The relentless pressure to stay on top of trends and maintain a flawless online persona only makes things worse, turning what should be a fun outlet into a significant mental health challenge.
Parents can not eliminate every risk, but they can guide their teens through this complex landscape. One key step is recognizing when technology use might be taking a toll. Keep an eye out for warning signs, including:
- Getting cranky or irritable when they’re away from screens
- Struggling in school or having a hard time staying focused
- Losing interest in things they used to enjoy, like hobbies or friendships
Addressing these challenges is not just about spotting problems—it is about creating a home environment where balance feels possible and is encouraged. Parents can empower their children to make informed choices and develop healthier relationships with technology by fostering open communication and building family systems that promote healthy habits.
How Families Can Set the Tone
Technology isn’t going anywhere, so it’s up to us to help our families find a better balance. Here are a few ideas to get started:
- Establish Tech-Free Zones and Times: Make shared spaces or moments—like meals or the hour before bedtime—device-free. These intentional breaks provide opportunities for connection and rest.
- Start Open-Ended Conversations: Ask questions to learn more about your teen’s online world. “How do you decide what to post or share online? Who are your favorite influencers?” Understanding their digital lives can offer insights into their interests.
- Model Healthy Habits: Teens are always watching. If parents are glued to their screens, teens may follow suit. Demonstrating moderation and mindful use can set a powerful example.
- Collaborate on Boundaries: Involve your teen in creating family rules around technology. Co-developing guidelines—like no phones at the dinner table—makes them more likely to follow them.
- Encourage Offline Activities: Whether it is sports, hobbies or family game nights, finding screen-free ways to connect and engage can offer much-needed balance and strengthen relationships.
When to Seek Support
Sometimes, even with the best intentions, technology use can significantly affect your teen’s mental health. If you notice persistent mood swings, withdrawal from relationships, or declining academic performance, it may be time to seek professional guidance. A mental health professional can help your teen build coping strategies, develop healthier habits, and address underlying concerns.
If the cell outage taught me anything, it’s that our relationship with technology isn’t perfect—and that’s OK. Moments like that can be a wake-up call to step back, reflect, and make intentional choices about how we use technology in our daily lives. Together, as families, we can take small steps to build a healthier, more balanced relationship with the devices that play such a big role in our modern world.
Dr. Sarah Mandelbaum, LCSW, PhD, offers guidance and support for adolescents and young adults in New York and New Jersey, helping them navigate life transitions with confidence and care. With over a decade of experience in school social work, Dr. Mandelbaum specializes in supporting individuals struggling with mental health challenges and complicated family dynamics. Contact Dr. Mandelbaum for a free 15-minute consultation at [email protected] or (201) 439-8033.
