NechamaComfort invites the community to an inaugural siyum and barbecue on Tuesday, July 25, at 6:15pm at The Teaneck Jewish Center, located at 70 Sterling Place.
Reva Judas, founder and director of NechamaComfort, sees the theme of “destruction to renewal” as an appropriate backdrop to this upcoming event, which will be held during the Nine Days. “NechamaComfort is the only Jewish non-denominational organization to deal with infant pregnancy loss. Our mission is to put the loss of an infant younger than one year into a place in your life that you choose and to move through it. Much like the rebuilding of Jewish life after churban Beit Hamikdash, we help our clients rebuild from their loss, whether recent or long ago.”
Since its inception in 2008, NechamaComfort has assisted individuals and families through counseling sessions held monthly at Holy Name Hospital in Bergen County and other venues. Two years ago, under the directorship of Susan Greenbaum, Jewish Family & Children’s Services of Northern New Jersey, recently merged with the Jewish Family Services of Wayne and Fair Lawn, offered Judas space in their newly expanded facility. The physical space along with the support services including advertisement, printing and accounting added greatly to the effectiveness of the organization. However, the counseling services provided by the three volunteer facilitators who worked alongside Judas were not being subsidized. Ellen Krischer and Esther Levie of Teaneck and Aimee Baron of Riverdale, all closely identifying with NechamaComfort’s mission as well as trained by the national Resolve to Sharing Program in Wisconsin, are unpaid volunteers as is Judas. They respond to desperate calls that come in to them 24/7 and are there for their clients at the most trying times.
A decision was made by Judas and her staff to host a siyum and barbecue during the Nine Days that would serve a threefold purpose. First and foremost, it would provide a memorial occasion for families who never formally said goodbye to their loved ones, whether their loss occurred recently or years ago. At the program, following Judas’ words of greeting and purpose, Rabbi Yosef Adler of Congregation Rinat Yisrael will recite the Kel Malei, followed by a siyum to be presented by Shalom Krischer of Rinat, whose loss took place 18 years ago. Next, a local family will share their unfortunate multi-generational experience 1 1/2 years ago and how NechamaComfort was with them every step of the way.
Judas wants the community to understand that without specified halachot concerning infant deaths, there are many choices that must be made by the grieving families. These choices involve whether the burial place will be made known to the family, what name will be recorded on the matzeiva, what is appropriate aveilut, how to mark yahrzeits and even whether Shabbat candles should be lit in memory of the infant. These delicate and often painful decisions need informed and sympathetic direction, a vital service provided by Judas and her team.
The sumptuous barbecue, to be catered by Petaks of Fair Lawn, will hopefully bring in the much-needed funds for the counseling sessions as well as the many projects being developed by the organization. Plans are in the offing for a 24/7 hotline to be manned by well-trained responders, as well as educational programs in shuls, schools, camps, funeral homes, mikvahs and even seminaries in Israel. Guidebooks, yahrzeit manuals and children’s literature are being written to help all family members, including siblings, as well as health and healing therapeutic missions for the bereaved parents. All of these worthwhile projects are costly.
The third purpose of the evening is to raise awareness in the community as to the existence of NechamaComfort and to spread the word about its services. “Much has changed in the 30 years since we experienced the loss of our son Pesach. The world has opened its ears and hearts to afflictions that were traditionally swept under the carpet. We are now aware of how to bring comfort and closure to those who have suffered personal tragedies. This is our mission in NechamaComfort and we invite you to join us.”
To learn more about the NechamaComfort inaugural siyum and barbecue, visit www.jfcsnnj.org NechamaComfort.com or contact Esther Levie at [email protected] or call 201-923-1976.
By Pearl Markovitz
