Dear Shayna B.,

I have a problem that seems very overwhelming to me. My mother hates messes. I hate cleaning. We both hate fighting. What should I do to minimize the strife without increasing my workload?

Sincerely,

Aviva, Joy Facilitator

Dear AJF,

It is true, mess causes stress. But this is your chance to make the stress less. “Clean up, clean up, pick up your toys and put them away.” It’s been a while since I’ve heard that jingle, but it still rings true. You can substitute toys for anything you need to clean up and make sure to use a catchy tune while you sing it.

Whenever you make a mess, clean it up. If you clean up a little at a time it won’t seem so insurmountable. Another idea is to try to minimize the amount of mess you make at the outset. Maybe use something that doesn’t make a mess. For instance instead of baking a cake with flour and eggs and a million other ingredients, start with a three-ingredient cake. It will be easier to make, clean, and eat. Maybe not eat. That probably won’t be affected, but you get my drift.

If that’s not possible, go to someone else’s house. The other person will probably be more polite to you than your mother when a mess is created so the mess will be less upsetting for you.

You can attempt not getting upset when you’re asked to clean up. It’s something difficult, I know, but when your parent gives you chores, take a deep breath, and do the work.

If these suggestions seem impossible, remember, one day you will have your own house. At that point, you can junk it up all you want.

Best of luck,

Shayna B.

Shayna is a rising sixth grader and understands what kids in MIDDLE and elementary school are going through. She is happy to help others navigate this tricky time. She can be reached at [email protected]. She is looking forward to hearing from you soon.