May 19, 2024
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Taste Testing Ben & Jerry’s Alternatives

My wife and I dutifully tossed out our multiple pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream. We then immediately realized we had a huge gap in our lives that needed to be filled with analogous alternatives to our favorite flavors.

We did what any rational couple would do: support every other kosher ice cream company in the world by sampling all their flavors and determining which of them were the best alternatives/substitutes/copycats/knockoffs to B & J’s flavors. After gaining 23 pounds apiece in just one week, we are proud to provide everyone with this necessary public service, and our handy chart. The list is ordered according to B & J’s own 2020 list of their top flavors. Twenty-one of their 52 varieties were tested, because migosh, enough already!

 You’re cherry welcone! 

Martin Bodek is the author of The Emoji Haggadah, The Festivus Haggadah, and The Coronavirus Haggadah, and is suddenly in desperate need of a crash diet.

 

B & J’s Flavor Closest Kosher Alternative
Half Baked Belmont’s Brookie Dough
Cherry Garcia Baskin Robbins’ Cherry Jubilee/Belmont’s Thank You Cherry Much
Chocolate Fudge Brownie Belmont’s Make Fudge Not War/Häagen Dazs’ Chocolate  Chocolate Chip
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Häagen-Dazs’ Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Tonight Dough Belmont’s For Real Dough
Phish Food Belmont’s Turtley Awesome
Strawberry Cheesecake Belmont’s Swirlin’ Strawberry
Americone Dream Breyers’ Waffle Cone
Chunky Monkey Belmont’s Banana Bonanza/Haagen Dazs’ Banana Peanut Butter Chip
Peanut Butter Cup Belmont’s My Peanut Butter Half
P.B. Dough Halo Top’s Peanut Butter Cup
Vanilla Kirkland’s Vanilla
Pistachio Pistachio Häagen-Dazs’ Pistachio
Caramel Core Häagen-Dazs’ Caramel Cone
Salted Caramel Brownie Häagen-Dazs’ Salted Caramel Brownie
Cinnamon Buns Breyers’ Cinnabon
Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz! Edy’s Espresso Chip
Peanut Butter Cup Breyers’ Rees’’s Peanut Butter Cups
Mint Chocolate Cookie Häagen-Dazs’ Mint Chip/Breyers’ Mint Chocolate Chip
Gimme S’more! Breyers’ S’mores
Milk & Cookies Häagen-Dazs’ Cookies & Cream

 

By Martin Bodek

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