I first met Allison Josephs, founder of Jew in the City, in 2009, shortly after she started the organization that attempts to break down stereotypes about Orthodox Jews. Through clever videos and well-written content, Josephs was able to show non-frum Jews that we can lead meaningful Torah-observant lives, while at the same be relevant and “normal” people.
I was very impressed with Josephs. Unlike many kiruv organizations that often try to play off on emotional insecurities, Josephs took a more rational and thoughtful approach as to why Orthodox Judaism could be a positive experience for others.
I invited her to speak to our community members in Stamford, Connecticut, and share her message … and I initially helped her a bit with her marketing efforts. We went our separate ways, but during the past 15 years, I have been following her efforts from afar—and she has expanded her mission in several ways and grown the organization tremendously.
There are now three branches of Jew in the City. The original media arm is now called Keter—to restore the “keter shem tov” to the Jewish community. The second branch is called Makom, which was started to help former and questioning Haredi Jews find a positive place within observant Judaism. The third branch is called Tikun, and it works behind the scenes with Haredi leadership to help alleviate the problems that push people out of their community and create bad headlines.
I recently had the opportunity to speak to Josephs, specifically about Makom. Below is a summary of our conversation:
Why did you start Makom, and what do you see as its main objective and mission?
I started Makom in 2014. I had met a former Hasidic couple at a kiruv talk at Rockland Community College. They told me that they couldn’t remain in their Hasidic community, but they wanted to stay religious. I was surprised at their comments, but realized that there might be other people like them who don’t fit into a Haredi community but also don’t want to leave religion completely. However, I was told by others that no one was going to fund such an effort … and that I would probably be put in cherem for making such an attempt. So I gave up on the plan.
Nine months later I read an article by a woman who spent three years trying to acclimate into the mainstream Orthodox community in Monsey, after leaving her community in Monroe. Unfortunately, no one would accept her because of her background, and none of the other children in the community would play with her child. So after three years of feeling like garbage, she picked herself up, dropped religion altogether, and went to Footsteps (an organization for former members of the Haredi community who have left observance). At this point, I realized that maybe we were unintentionally building up Footsteps by not being welcoming and inclusive ourselves. That’s where the name Makom comes from—to make room for individuals who may want a choice, somewhere in between where they started off and leaving religion completely.
How does Makom differ from Footsteps?
Footsteps helps people leave the Haredi world, but doesn’t guide them about what to do if they still want to remain frum. What we discovered at Makom was that not everyone who comes to us wants to completely leave the Haredi world; some just want to have a different relationship to their Judaism. We help Haredi Jews leave abusive and dysfunctional patterns in their lives, similar to what Footsteps does. However, we also offer the opportunity to learn and re-engage in other frum communities, with Torah texts, traditional prayer and a loving God. Also, Footsteps is a social service organization. We don’t do that work. What we succeed at is making people feel good about being Jewish and living an observant Jewish life.
How do you go about finding individuals who might benefit from Makom? Or do they mostly find you?
We are against recruiting for Makom. We don’t have an agenda. We are here as a resource for people who might benefit from what we have to offer. And if we can meet the needs of people who are looking for what we have to offer, then we are very happy. We believe that every human being has been endowed with free will, and every adult gets to decide how to live his or her life, as long as they are not hurting others.
Do you have any members of the Haredi community whom you work closely with, in helping individuals in their community who might be struggling with their lifestyle?
We don’t have any formal referral process. We do know various rabbis and teachers in the Haredi world who offer a different perspective of what our members might have grown up with. Faiga Leah Landau has spoken for us a couple of times. She is a Satmar mother with a couple of children who are no longer observant. Her message is welcoming and inviting—when people see and hear someone who grew up like they did, but who speaks with compassion and nuance, it resonates strongly with them.
Have you received any criticism or pushback from Haredi rabbis and other leaders who are angry about what you are trying to accomplish?
We initially were given some advice that we should not be too big or well-known within Haredi circles, so that we would not be perceived as trying to recruit. Fortunately, we have not had pushback. To the contrary, we have had many people in the Haredi world tell us they really appreciate the work we are doing. Some of our members are looking for a Modern Orthodox lifestyle. But we have also found others who want to try to find a way to remain in a healthier version of the Haredi world—and we are happy to assist with that as well. We don’t have a specific outcome in mind. We are believing and observant Jews, and while we find the kind of life we are living to be meaningful, we also believe that every person gets to choose their own lifestyle. So we are here as a resource for everyone.
Describe one or two examples of successful programs that you have run for Makom members.
The programs that have had the most impact are the Shabbat placements and the shabbatons that we have organized. Being in the homes of people who love being Jewish … who have healthy marriages … who have healthy relationships with their children … who have healthy relationships with God … who are giving and generous …this is very appealing to many of our members who might have been raised with so many deficits in their home. So when you place these individuals in a healthy Shabbat environment, or include them in a shabbaton with others, it’s incredibly impactful.
Also, although we are not a mental health organization, we do have a psychologist on staff who can help identify when a situation is beyond what we can handle and when a referral to a mental health professional is needed. His name is Dr. Ben Madsen, and he has also given classes to our members about insecure attachments and emotional neglect. The folks who were brave enough to delve into this topic and do the work in the class have seen some really impactful changes.
Finally, our program director, Zeldy Trieff, goes above and beyond in helping our members navigate through their journeys. She went through a similar journey and understands their world—how to separate the pain and dysfunction from healthy Judaism. She loves our 300 members like her own children, and she is incredibly dedicated.
Please provide one or two examples of individuals who have been helped through Makom and who have found a place in the Modern Orthodox community.
Nechuma Schweitzer is very public about her journey and has written several articles about her experience with Makom. After joining Makom as a member and healing herself, she was hired to become a part of the Makom staff. Several other Makom members have joined Modern Orthodox communities, and one even found a marriage partner there. Another Makom member joined a Modern Orthodox community in Bergen County, and when he fully integrated into the community, he felt he no longer needed us because he found a new place for himself.
What will Makom be doing in Israel? How does the approach differ there than in the States?
We plan to run Makom in Israel similarly to the way we run it here. Nechuma Schweizter will be managing the Israel program for Makom—she speaks Yiddish, which is a plus in Israel. I think we are going to try to find the expats who have made aliyah—and who also might benefit from our resources. We have about a dozen members in Israel already, and as we run more programs, other people likely will find us. But we are still experimenting. We do things before we know exactly how they will eventually end up. We learn as we go—it’s the most Jewish way to get anything started. We have some contacts in Israel already, and we hope that people in Israel who need us will be able to find us.
Will Makom be featured at your Jewish Media Awards event at Lincoln Center this month?
Yes! We will be featuring a Makom member’s story at the event. This woman was very upset with the “Unorthodox” narrative that Hollywood seems to be so obsessed with. Her feeling is that there is a lot more nuance to the story than Hollywood ever explained, and that there is a lot of vilification of Orthodox Jews that happens in these stories. And in our state of growing antisemitism, it’s so important for us to show stories of Jewish joy and beauty coming out of the Jewish community. And if we do share stories of hardships and challenges, it should be done with more nuance.
Interested in attending the Jew in the City Second Jewish Media Awards, which will be held on Tuesday evening, November 12 at Lincoln Center? For more information and/or to reserve a ticket, please visit https://jitchollywoodbureau.org
Michael Feldstein, who lives in Stamford, Connecticut, is the author of “Meet Me in the Middle” (meet-me-in-the-middle-book.com), a collection of essays on contemporary Jewish life. He can be reached at [email protected].
