Business burnout is real. Marriage burnout is real. They’re both terrifying. What can you do about it?
I don’t know who said this but this quote is inspiring. “Mental toughness is when you can find fuel in an empty tank.”
So what can you do if you feel that you’re experiencing marriage or business burnout?
You’ve got to find ways to fuel that empty tank.
The following three suggestions are ways that we personally have dealt with burnout both in our marriage at times and in our business as well.
- Explore new untapped niches in your business (and in your spouse!). Perhaps you’ve been talking to the same customer avatar for years and it’s only gotten you so far. Are there other niches or target markets that you can open up the conversation with, testing your message with that new grouping of people, experimenting with some interest targeting, to see if that new group would be excited in what you have to say and offer?
You’re on empty so you’ve got to forge new pathways. Opening up what you have to offer to a whole new segment of the population and grabbing more of the market share is worth doing, especially when you’re running on empty.
How can you apply this to your marriage? Notice that when we’re talking about burnout, we never mention the “q” word. Or in the case of marriage, the “d” word.
Just because you’re burnt out does not mean that it’s time to give up on what is most precious to you (quitting or divorcing).
Find fuel in an empty tank. Forge new experiences with your partner, learn sides to them that you never knew by exploring with each other! Taking classes, attending live seminars, whatever it is—you’ve got to experiment with learning new things about your spouse that you never previously really looked at.
You don’t know everything there is to know about your spouse. They’re an entire world of their own and just because you feel “bored” with them doesn’t mean you’re done.
Perhaps they’ve put themselves aside while supporting you in your world for many years. If you’d start generating some interest in your spouse you’d see that there’s a whole new “market share” to him/her that you haven’t yet been able to reap rewards from yet!
- Get coached. If you’ve ever worked with a great business coach, you know there’s no replacement for their tremendous expertise and the clarity that they provide you with. You breathe such a sign of relief when you gain insight from their levelheaded strategies that put your mess into focus.
The same goes with a marriage specialist. There’s no shortage of business coaches or marriage therapists out there. It’s a matter of finding the best for your situation who will work to give you the clarity and the focus that you need to make sense of the mess.There’s no replacement for high-level coaching—the relief from trying to fix things on your own is worth its weight in gold.
- Just say no. Streamlining, prioritizing and setting clear boundaries with all the noise out there helps you to strip away the chaos and get down to the root of what makes your business go.
Simplicity is the new productivity.
You know that complicated marketing funnels just require more effort on your part—more products, more packaging, more delivery, more, more, more. Focusing on your best one or two streams of income and putting all your strength behind those things renews and replenishes your spirit, as you’re likely to see a much better return on the investment you put into it.
The same goes with your marriage. Saying no and sealing all of the “exits” that take you away from your relationship will help propel you into focusing just on what’s important.
Maybe it’s painful at first to not have as much thrill from the drama and the “noise” that takes you away from focusing on your marriage. But when you get used to it—setting boundaries with the opposite sex, not paying attention to your friends’ vacation pictures on social media and shutting out those that want to worm their way into your personal time, you’ll be forced to learn how to gain pleasure from the one that you’re supposed to get it from—your partner.
It’s ok if you have to fake it before you make it. What matters is just that you do it. Because there’s gold at the end of that rainbow.
Just start.
By Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, is a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist (Advanced Clinician) who works with couples via intensive marriage retreats and online “marriage school.” To learn more about our private and group retreats, visit www.TheMarriageRestorationProject.com.
