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December 7, 2024
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Linking Northern and Central NJ, Bronx, Manhattan, Westchester and CT

Who Are You Calling Lazy?

“Hey Oren! You have a second?” Oren slowed down to let Yaniv catch up. He turned to his friend. “What’s going on Yanni? How’d you do on the test?” Yaniv slapped Oren on the back. “Dude! 97! All thanks to you! Thanks for helping me study!” Oren slapped Yaniv right back. “Love it. You know I can come to your house to study once in a while.” Yaniv made an uneasy face. “Maybe. Maybe. Anyway, you got the history notes? I cannot stay awake for that class. Last period and bo-ring! I can’t believe they still let Dr. Rosenberg teach. He’s like a thousand years old.” Oren laughed. “Sure thing, brother. I’ll make you a copy at home and bring it in tomorrow.” Yaniv smiled. “You’re the best, O!” Oren smiled back. “I know. I know. Catch you later.”

Oren and Yaniv had only been friends for a few months, but it felt like years. Yaniv’s family had moved into town during the summer, just a few blocks from Oren’s. Oren returned from camp at the end of July, and the boys became fast friends. Oren and Yaniv had similar tastes in music, they played the same sports, and they even had the same bar mitzvah parsha. The boys spent the month playing basketball at the park, and just hanging out at each other’s houses.

A new best friend was exactly what Oren needed, as his previous best buddy had moved to Alaska two years ago. Oren was happy to help Yaniv with schoolwork, and never thought Yaniv was using him. However, Oren’s father felt differently. The evening after Yaniv asked for the history notes, Oren was photocopying the notes at home, when his father walked in. “Hey Oren. What’s going on? Anything I can help you with?” Oren turned to his dad and gave him a quick hug. “All good, Dad. I’m just copying notes for Yaniv. We have this big history test coming up and—” Oren’s dad interrupted. “Oren, pal, does Yaniv work hard at school?” Oren shrugged. “Sort of. I mean sometimes he—” Again Dad interrupted. “Let’s just talk about History. Does Yaniv put effort into that class?” Oren fidgeted uncomfortably. “Well, not exactly. He’s always falling asleep during History class.”

Oren’s father nodded. “I know that feeling. History can be boring if not taught well. But YOU don’t fall asleep during class, do you?” Oren shook his head. His father continued. “So you put in the extra effort to stay awake and take notes, and Yaniv just takes them from you? Like a free handout? Buddy, why should you do that? You put in the work, and this guy gets the benefit? You’d probably do him a favor by saying ‘no’ next time. It will teach him to pull himself up by the bootstraps and get to work. Do me a favor. Make this the last time. If Yaniv asks you again, just tell him that he’s got to put in the work himself. We can’t be rewarding someone else’s laziness. And let him invite you over for once. You guys are here too often.”

Clearly, Oren was not happy with what his father just suggested. He never felt like Yaniv was lazy, and he didn’t want to stop helping him. On the other hand, maybe his father had a point. And didn’t he have a mitzvah to listen to his father? But on the other-other hand, wasn’t his father suggesting something cruel and just pretending it was kind? Was telling Yaniv to do his own work really helpful to him? Oren really felt stuck. So, for the time being, Oren put the problem out of his mind and went back to making copies.

The next day, Yaniv wasn’t at school. Normally Yaniv would text Oren if he wasn’t coming in, but it didn’t worry Oren at all. He went through his day as usual, and decided he would swing by Yaniv’s house after school to drop off the notes.

So, when the bell rang, ending the day, Oren hopped on his bike and headed directly for Yaniv’s. He parked his bike in front of the house, walked up the steps, and knocked on the door. No answer. Oren rang the bell. No answer. He peeked in the window and was shocked at what he saw. The house was completely empty! Before Oren had a chance to process what he was seeing, he heard the sound of a bicycle tire screeching to a halt. He looked up and saw someone turning around and riding in the opposite direction; but not just any someone.

“Hey Yaniv! Hey Yaniv, slow down!” But Yaniv did not. Oren hopped on his bike and chased after Yaniv, catching up to him five blocks later. Without any other options, Yaniv came to a stop and just hung his head. Oren sat there for an awkward minute, waiting for Yaniv, who eventually looked up. “Oren. I’m sorry I never told you the truth, it’s just so embarrassing.”

Yaniv went on to explain that his father, who had worked hard his entire life, had recently lost his job. The company he was working for was failing, and even though it wasn’t his fault, the company needed to let people go to save money. Yaniv’s family therefore had to move to a much smaller house. Additionally, his parents had both started doing extra work at nights to pay the bills. Yaniv now had to wake up to help with his baby sister in the middle of the night so that his parents could catch some sleep. That’s why he was always falling asleep in class.

After ensuring Yaniv was okay, Oren gave him the notes and headed back home. He told his father everything, and when he was done, his father looked white as a ghost. “I can’t believe it. I switched companies just last year from that same exact job! Oren, you give that kid whatever he needs.”

Parshat Behar discusses how to treat people who are having trouble with money. Hashem commands us to carry out some extraordinary actions. If a family had to sell their home, we eventually give it back. If someone needs to work as a servant, he or she is treated like a member of the family. If someone needs to borrow money, we can’t charge interest even though we could have used that money to make more money. Hashem is sending us a message that is often hard to hear. Success is based just as much on things we can control as on things we can’t. Who knows if we are lucky or unlucky; if we actually earned our current situation or not? We shouldn’t be kind just because someone deserves it. We should be kind just because.


Yair Daar is the middle school dean of students at Yeshivat He’Atid. He can be reached at [email protected].

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