Most of us, not all, are able to choose the circumstances in which we determine how we want to spend our lives. There are times when things just fall into our laps and we realize that maybe this is a path that we should be taking, even though it was not what we initially intended. Alternatively, some are determined to live a specific lifestyle and have no qualms in doing what they think is best for them. That makes a good deal of sense to me, yet I cannot get myself to just shrug off some choices that people make. It is a free world after all.
I spent the past Shabbat in Lakewood with one of my absolutely wonderful grandchildren and family. Honestly, I am sorry but I just don’t get it. I need to keep reminding myself that everyone has a personal choice of how they live their lives.
In the year 2024 in this particular family, and I am sure in many others as well, no newspaper or radio is ever accessed. What is going on in the world is totally irrelevant. But is it? I did one day receive a phone call asking me to please tell them what is going on in Israel. The fact that we have Palestinians protesting all over the world and many in our very own local communities seems to have not entered the minds of many in the Lakewood community. They know nothing. Obviously I am not talking about the throngs of people that have moved to Lakewood from Brooklyn and everywhere else and have nothing to do with the yeshiva.
Last week I received a telephone call from my granddaughter who told me that she was on her way to a wedding in Monsey with a friend. While parked in the lot of a Holiday Inn somewhere along the route to charge the electric car that they were driving, she noticed a man get out of his car and wrap himself in a green, red and black flag. She called to ask me if I knew what it was. I explained to her what it represented and suggested that she not engage in any type of discussion with this person. They know that there are hostages but know none of the details of the news that we all hinge upon each day. If I were to mention the Bibas family it would be the same as mentioning the name Cohen, Sternberg or Plotkin (names chosen randomly). They have heard of no one.
When I showed my great grandchildren a picture of an Israeli flag on my phone they had no idea what it was nor did they know anything about Israel. (Full disclosure: They are quite young but still old enough to know.) It bothers me significantly that Eretz Yisrael, a place that is so vital to all of us and that we care and worry about each day, is not in their mindsets at all. Of course, it is vital (?) that many young couples beginning their lives together take off for a year or two to learn in the Mir, or wherever else, and walk through the streets of Yerushalayim with their parents’ credit card spending whatever they wish. How many of those couples develop a feeling of Ahavat Yisroel so much so that they make a decision to stay and contribute to the country and its economy? Yes, learning is very important—but to what end?
I could not believe that when men with their children enter the elevator of their apartment house there is no discussion, no greeting, no “Good Shabbos.” I asked about it and was told that it was inappropriate for men and women to speak with each other.
I am not speaking of elderly people who learned that derech from the time they were children. I am speaking of young people who feel the need to perpetuate that mindset. The Hebrew language is so beautiful. We are blessed that we have our own country where we have recently, and over the years, lost so many fighting for us all to have a home to go to. And the language still needs to be pronounced and taught to children totally in Ashkenazi. When I hear the word “Kosel” I cringe. Is there really something unkosher or irreverent about saying Kotel?
As I write this, please realize that this is totally my opinion but it is so important to me that my grandchildren grow up and teach their children the same Ahavat Yisrael that I feel and I believe that the “yeshivish” mentality is missing the boat. Ahavas Torah takes precedence over ahavat Eretz Yisroel and I see no reason why they cannot be blended together into a beautiful mix. I think that we should be past the shtetl way of thinking. In the shtetl, now that I think about it, there was no vibrant Eretz Yisroel that we have today. Why is it so important to deny this beauty and relevance to our children? There is more to Eretz Yisroel than going for a year of seminary in Har Nof and making sure that every product even in Israel is chalav Yisroel and every mehadrin restaurant is not just mehadrin but super-duper mehadrin. Does the Rabbanut not eat its own hashgacha? Do they not want us to eat treif? What’s next on the agenda? I am afraid to think about it.
As my beloved Mordechai would say to me, “It works for them so why does it bother you so much?” Good question without a great answer. I personally cannot see that lifestyle being able to sustain itself. But, that’s just me.
Nina Glick can be reached at [email protected].
